Two Dogs Running

Sadness in the Dawg House

2011-09-12T08:59:00.002-05:00

Jasper, our 5 month old puppy, was hit by a car early Saturday morning while we were all asleep. Our neighbor found him in the road (before he was smushed all over the place, thank goodness) and took him to his place of business and buried him out back for us.

We are all heartbroken in the Dawg House. He was a silly, sweet puppy that we loved with all our hearts.

We love you Jasper!

Passion Party With the Boss's Wife

2011-09-09T11:25:00.002-05:00

Yeah, you read that right and no, it wasn't EXACTLY like that.

The boss man's wife held a Passion Party.

If you don't know what that is, google it.

So, I wasn't really looking foward to going to the party. Not because of the nature of it, but because I'm still new here (even though it's been 4 years) and I still don't know a whole lot of people. The older I get, the less I like to be in uncomfortable social situations.

However, I like the bosses's wife. She's nice. And there was nothing else to do on a Thursday night. I can always watch Big Brother on-line if I ended up missing the episode, so, you know....it's all good.

What was funny was trying to explain to Maggie without really explaining it to her, why I was going to a party that she couldn't come to. I hate giving the old standard "because it's a party just for grown-ups". I like trying to be as honest as I can with her, but that just wasn't gonna fly.

I arrived at the party just a few minutes behind and was relieved to find that I knew most of the people at the party.

In addition, the food was amazing. It was only cocktail weiners and meatballs (so appropriate for this kind of party) and chips with cheese dip, but the cheese dip was not your normal Rotel and Velveeta. It was 3 different kinds of cheeses with shredded chicken and ranch dressing. Yummy, yum, yum, yum. The meatballs were in a crock pot and were in a combination of salsa and honey barbeque sauce. Never had that before and it was to die for.

And, as my co-worker lovingly created and decorated, there was a pink penis cake. The funniest part of that (besides the obvious, ehem, icing "leakage" at the end) was the fact that her 21 year old son was giving her pointers on how to make it more "realistic" looking when she was making it!

The party started off by easing you in to it by showing you all the sprays and lotions and gels and stuff and then she got to the good stuff.

Y'all, I don't think I've ever touched that many penises (albeit fake vibrating ones) in one night like that (not even that one night at the fire department with those firefighters) EVER.

What was even funnier was that everyone (for the most part) was actually taking it so seriously. We were pointing out pros and cons of each one that was passed around.

All in all, it was a good night. I helped the hostess bring up her sales orders and came home with a full belly of good food.

How was YOUR Thursday night? Anything like mine?

All Righty Roo

2011-09-07T17:11:00.007-05:00

Erin.....this is for you.

So, I've pulled yet another disappearing act. It's been quite a while.

Let's play catch up first and then, hopefully on to posts....again. I know, I know, I know. I'm worse than a 13 year old boy who promises he'll call after school and never does and then ignores you for the rest of the week because, well, he's a 13 year old boy.....wait...what?

Never mind.

Let's see. I last posted in May, so that's....roughly 4 months of catching up.

Not too shabby.

I've learned to sew.

I've learned to sew A LOT. I smell a new obsession! And no, not the CK kind (although I do like that scent).

That's just a small sampling of what I've been working on in the sewing department. Not my own designs, just made by me.

Maggie is now in the 6th grade. She started middle school last year, so it's nothing new to her this year. However, she does have a locker and she LOVES that.

She also got invited to the Junior Beta Club. You have to be INVITED to join and you are only invited if you show leadership skills, a good attitude and have a 90 average or higher. Mags and her BFF Lulu BOTH got invited, so that rocks! She's so cool.

She's also still in her SPICE class and 4-H. We've dumped dance this year since she was so involved in the play last year and she plans to try out for cheerleading this year. She had a blast doing softball this summer.

Oh and the biggest news ever? MY BFF FROM ORLANDO IS MOVING UP HERE WHERE I LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can not tell you how much this means to me. For real. This is like right up there with winning the lottery and getting lifetime passes to Disney World.

That's mostly it in a nutshell.

How's tricks with all y'all?

Later my lovelies.

O I C U

2011-05-20T08:19:00.002-05:00

I was changing out of my walking clothes in to work clothes this morning. We just put up new mirrors in the ladies bathroom (we hold proms and pageants and etc....here throughout the year) and I caught a glance at my boobs in my sports bra. Specifically my nipples when seen through a sports bra and the first thought that popped in my head was:

"My boobs, in a sports bra, look like Shannen Doherty's eyes".

For those of you who know what I mean, you'll laugh.

You are most welcome for that disturbing image this beautiful Friday morning.

Love to all,

Mama Dawg

Awesome, Totally Awesome!!!

2011-05-10T08:29:00.004-05:00

My retired mother was sitting at home the other day and was watching one of those morning talk shows. An author came on and was talking about his book that he wrote called "The Book of Awesome" (Neil Pasricha). She was intrigued and asked my aunt down in New Orleans to swing by Barnes and Noble to pick it up for her so she could give it to my grandmother for Mother's Day.

It arrived and we flipped through it before she made me wrap it for her (aren't I a good daughter?.......and yes, that's a rhetorical question).

It got me to thinking about all sorts of little things in life that are awesome.

For instance, I had one just the other night.

Maggie (formerly known as Light or Light of My Life or LOML) had a softball game (see what all y'all have missed by me not blogging?). It's summer league so the games last either 7 innings or an hour and a half. Whatever comes first. And let me be the first to say that we've never seen 7 innings!

Anyway, at one of the practices earlier that week, a lost dog (not a stray since it had a collar but no tag) found its way to the practice field. It was a sweet, trusting dog. She was a mama dog and took a shining to me. I let her sit in my lap for most of the practice and she even fell asleep at one point. It was kind of sweet.

That's not the awesome moment.

So, when the game was over and we were packing up to leave, I saw the dog again. But, I saw some random kid using a black ribbon as a leash and the dog was refusing to go with him. She was shivering and shaking and clearly scared.

There was another lady also watching what was going on and made the comment that she didn't think the dog belonged to that boy. I told her I was pretty certain that it didn't since I had seen it earlier that week and he was no where around.

I put on my big girl panties and walked over to the boy. I asked him point blank if the dog was his and he said yes. I then asked him where he and the dog lives and he looked at me blankly. He said that he didn't know. I then asked him again if the dog was his and he finally said no. I told him that he had to take the ribbon leash off the dog immediately and that since the dog didn't belong to him and it obviously belonged to someone, it would be considered stealing if he took off with the dog. He took out a pair of scissors (who the hell carries ribbon and scissors with them....especially a kid?) and cut off the ribbon. The dog immediately came over to me and wouldn't leave my side. I went to a couple of houses in the neighborhood but none claimed her.

I drove back by later that night and saw the dog still at the ball park, so I obviously put the fear of ______ (insert your own word here...jail, God, crazy ladies, etc....) into the boy.

That was my moment of awesome.

Although.......I'm not quite sure that's what the author had in mind. I don't think "Scaring Little Kids Shitless" is one of his top 1000 awesome things.

But it should be.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Wow.....It's been like FOREVAH!!!

2011-05-05T13:51:00.002-05:00

I've just been reading over some of my blog posts and realized just how much I missed it.

I think bloggy land has changed a bit since I was on last, but I'm willing to jump back in.

You can thank Erin over on Facebook for my return.

Let's see if I can get this thing jump started again.

No real post for now, but I'm working on one.

How's everybody been?

Missed me any?

Anybody get married, get divorced, have babies, moved, turned into a screaming banshee, eloped with Daniel Radcliff, adopted any minority children or squished a spider?

Laters,

Mama Dawg

My Baby's on TV!!!

2010-12-15T08:48:00.002-06:00

Light is in a 4-H sewing club and their most recent project was sewing baby blankets for St. Jude's.

A local TV station came out and did a news report on them. She didn't get interviewed, but the ittle girl that goes first, Landyn, is her best friend. However, Light is all over the newscast. She's the one in black and wearing glasses. They got a lot of close ups of her.

When you click on the web page, the video bar is on the left hand side. The description talks about a sewing club. In fact, right now, her face is the face you see when you bring up the web page and look to the left!!!!

I'm so proud!

www.wcbi.com

Ketchup Time

2010-12-06T11:05:00.009-06:00

Yeah, I know. I spelled that wrong. On purpose, of course.

Let's see. What have you guys missed out on since I've been away.

Oh, crap. A LOT of things have gone on.

Here's the highlights:

We had a TERRIFIC time in Orlando this past June. I got to spend lots of quality time with the BFF and her fam. Got 4 free days at Disney to boot! Did a day at the beach, spent some time with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. All in all, a helluva trip!

Light had a good summer. She's still going strong in 4-H and is excelling in all activities.

Part of my job is helping to put on our county fair in July. It was soooooooooo time consuming and tiring and crazy and I had a BLAST doing it.

While during the fair, we ended up adopting a new dog named Bella AND a guinea pig named Bob. Yes, I said while during the fair. The dog was dropped off or ran off and ended up at the midway. The carny didn't claim her and she was limping and Light and her friend were doing those big teary eyes at me.....so, I have a new-ish dog. She's a full blood blue heeler and is the sweetest thing. She's had a litter or two of pups in her past so I call her my mama dog. I really need to go get her fixed. She's gone through one heat cycle since I've had her and it was a bitch to deal with. Thank goodness she didn't get knocked up. I have no clue how old she is, but I'm getting the feeling she's up in years. Her teeth are slightly ground down and she just seems older, but then again, even with the lame leg, she can run full throttle when chasing after the mail truck.

Nikki, my dog from my BFF in Florida, got hit by a car but she survived. However, the big old DRAMA QUEEN made me crawl under the house to DRAG her ass out so I could take her to the vet. She had a leg joint that was popped out of place and a bad case of road rash on her side and legs. Thank goodness it wasn't that bad of a hit. I think she just got nicked. Since then, she's not gone out in the road. Lesson learned, I suppose.

Oh, and the guinea pig. Well, my bosses wife's sister (got that?) got preggo and couldn't keep the critter, so the boss man's wife asked me in a half hearted way if we wanted a guinea pig and I said "sure" (gotta learn to teach my mouth to STAY SHUT!!!). However, he's AMAZING. Very well behaved. He came to us as Jacob, but since we had just gotten a dog named Bella, I made Light change his name. It was getting too Twilight-y for me.

Uh...what else.

Oh, Light is now in the 5th grade and still in her gifted class. STILL making straight A's. She's currently working on her reading fair project. She chose to do her board on "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" and I must say, she's doing a great job. Pics to come soon on that.

And one of the biggest pieces of news!!!! Light auditioned for a part in the county school play! It's a play that's open to all the kids of the county (we live in a small county). She not only auditioned but she got a (very small) part! She's a villager/wood nymph in the play titled "Into the Woods (Jr.)". She is soooooooo psyched. Of course, I'm having to listen to the same three songs over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Oh, well. I'll just have to sit and suffer. I am so proud of her for getting up the nerve to try out. That took major balls.

Some other big news.....Light was nominated and WON one of two 5th grade spots on the middle school homecoming court! So proud! However, it's a whole 'nother post on the...ummmm...inappropriateness of some of the clothing, hair and makeup that some of the girls had. Last time I checked, no where except on a street corner is it appropriate for a 12 year old girl to wear a strapless dress that increased her bust size to one larger than mine. And I'm not small. The rules said to wear church appropriate dresses, however, with the exception of Light and two other girls, they all looked like 18 year olds at prom.

And some other big news.....Light was "Rookie of the Year" at her 4-H awards banquet. Our mayor (who is also our town pharmacist) was the presenter of the award and he was just tickled pink that it was Light who won the award. Light is one of his favorite kids around town and it was a perfect night. She got a plaque and everything.

I'm still LOVING my job. It's something different every day and I love that aspect of it.

I also did 130 boxes this year for Operation Christmas Child. My goal was 100 so I surpassed that goal! Next year's goal is 150 and I've already got about 50 started. Whew.....thanks so much to those of you that helped by sending me soaps and what not. If any one else would like to help by sending soaps, small NEW toys, etc.....drop drop me a line.

That's it in a nut shell.

How's everybody doing out there? Any big things I've missed out on?

Later taters,

Mama Dawg

Thanksgiving...

2010-11-25T18:03:00.002-06:00

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for good friends, lovely family and OUTSTANDING food! I'm also thankful for this terrific Thanksgiving day.

This Thanksgiving, we came back to New Orleans to celebrate with friends. And I have to say, quite simply, this is the BEST THANKSGIVING EVER!!!

Much love and thanks to Kat, Vicki, Chris, Mags, Mom and Rhonda. And I can't forget Oscar. You little weenie dog you.

Love and kisses to all bloggers.

Love,

No Stinky Here!

2010-06-24T09:15:00.005-05:00

At least.......not yet.

A friend of ours has such a huge heart and takes in all sorts of orphaned animals.

However, this time, I think she took in more than she could handle.

A neighbor had been having problems with an adult skunk spraying their dogs. The neighbor went out and shot the skunk not knowing it was a mama skunk and she was only spraying to protect her babies from their dogs. Once he found out that there were babies, he felt bad and wanted to find a home for the babies. So, naturally, he thought of my friend.

She invited us over the other day to come see the babies.

Oh, my, lord. Are they ever cute!!!

Light had no fear of picking them up. (yes, that is blue stuff around her mouth...think blue snowball).

Yes, she's kissing a skunk.

I love where I live. Simply love it.

Later,

R.I.P. Mike

2010-06-21T08:19:00.004-05:00

He passed away on Friday, June 18th. 15 days after his companion of 13 years passed away. I hate that we were on vacation when it happened, but he couldn't have been in better company with my mom watching over him.

That little girl that you ran from for years is missing you so bad right now. You were her J.D. and she is in such heartache for you. The way you went from not wanting anything to do with her to not wanting to be with anybody BUT her was amazing.

I will miss that sudden dip at the end of the bed when you would jump up to snuggle. I will miss the way that you would MEOW and demand that I feed you. I will miss that particular little chirping sound you would make when you would spot a bird. I will miss your soft fat belly and your long, long, long legs. I will miss the way you would allow Light to dress you up as Tinkerbell and pretend to make you play the piano.

You are in our heart baby boy, now and forever. Go and play with J.D. I know that's why you left us. You just missed him too much.

Love,

Happy Birthday!!!

2010-06-07T08:23:00.003-05:00

Lead Celestial Being: On my count of three......1.....2.....3.....

Massive Choir of Celestial Beings:

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Mama Dawg,
Happy Birthday to yoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!

Lead Celestial Being: Oh, my, choir......that was truly magnificent. A special performance for a special lady. Let's see now, how old are you today Mama Dawg? 33? NO, that CAN'T be right. You don't look a day over 27!!! What is your secret? And my dear, have you lost weight? No? Well, it certainly looks like it. I've never seen your hair looking better and your skin is as smooth as a baby's, well, you know what. Oh, and the Powers That Be want me to tell you that they wish you a very Happy Birthday as well. You know how rare it is to get them to notice anything, so to be acknowledged by them on your very special day is truly an honor.

___________________________________________

On a more personal note, this is what I woke up to this morning!

My own personalized cake. With a hidden Mickey made out of cherries!

Light had a friend spend the night last night and this is what they did for me. I woke up to cake and birthday cards and singing.

And yes, I just did a whole post dedicated to me on my birthday.

Cause I rock!

Later,

R.I.P. J.D.

2010-06-03T08:08:00.002-05:00

My darling baby boy. I am going to miss you so much. You brought me so joy and so much peace.

From the first moment I saw you, I knew you were special. And I wasn't wrong.

I will miss the way you purred so loudly, you sounded like a motorboat. I will miss the way you would sit so Zen like with your front paws crossed. I will miss the smell of your fur and the way you would kiss me when I rubbed my face against yours. I will miss your little pink paws and your orange tipped ears. I will miss the way you would stare directly at a fly on the wall even though you had no eyes. I will miss the way you would meow for me to pick you up and put you on the bed when you could no longer jump up. I will miss the way you would snuggle down in a blanket until you were completely covered up.

You were pure magic.

Love forever and ever,

The Universe is a Bitch and Must Die

2010-05-27T13:30:00.004-05:00

I'm so pissed.....at myself of course.

Without giving too many details, let's just say that a couple of years ago, I did something and got caught. I didn't pay for my actions and lived in the constant fear that I would be discovered and would pay much worse than I would have if I had paid when I first got caught.

The fear was so relentless and so all consuming, it changed my way of life.

Not enough for anyone to notice and I was able to cover it all up for these past two and half years, but still..........it was out "there". You know, out in the universe.

Over the course of the past week, I have discovered that I was living in fear all this time FOR NO REASON AT ALL. That being caught would not have happened BECAUSE NO ONE HAD ANY RECORD OF IT AT ALL!!!

What the hell Universe? What the hell? Did you enjoy your hearty laugh at my expense? Didja? Huh? Huh?

P.S. Having said all that, the actions I've taken over the past week have obliterated any chance of me getting in trouble now. I've not only confessed and paid for the past actions, but I've obliterated any chance of that fear coming true. Man.......it's like the Rock of Gibralter has been lifted off my shoulders.

P.S.S. I know......cryptic much?

P.S.S.S. Aren't you glad I'm back? *smooch*

Where, oh, Where Has My Little Dawg Gone?

2010-05-26T13:15:00.003-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I know. Leave me alone.

I've been gone for a while.

And it's not because I don't have access to my blog at work or that I don't have the time to blog......it's, well, it's just that things are going so good that it's hard to find stuff to write about.

I like to read about happy things as much as the next person, but man, typing happy shit? That's hard.

However, Erin yelled at me on Facebook and I've gotten several other "polite" requests to get off my ass and write.......soooooooo, here I am.

Wanna know what's been going on since, oh, about Christmas?

I still LOVE my job. Seriously, I love it. Specifically what do I love? Dunno. I just love coming to work every day. And that's enough for me.

Still haven't weighed any cows. That's a bummer.

However, a couple of weeks ago we found a baby bunny here at work. I took him home and rehabilitated him and we let him go on Sunday out by my grandmother's land.

We named him Scooter. I wanted to name him Clyde, but I was vetoed.

Uh, let's see.....Oh, yeah....Light made Principal's Honor Roll for the whatever year it is that she's been in school. Kid kicks serious academic ass. Principal's Honor roll since Kindergarten. Dang!

She had her dance recital back in April. I still can not stand those things, but again, she danced circles around those other girls. I shouldn't be shocked each and every year, but I always am.

She just lost her 16th tooth and got $16 for it. I seriously think the tooth fairy was smoking dope when she made that contract with my kid cause she's seriously getting the raw end of the deal. The Tooth Fairy, not Light. She's raking in the dough.

Oh, and Light is now a Sharpshooter in Shooting Sports in 4-H. She went to the District Competition a few weeks back and came in 4th overall in her division and 1st for our county!!!!! Yay!!!!!

She also made class favorite for the second year in a row. Her picture is in the paper this week because of that.

They got out of school on Monday, so she's official a 5th grader now. When on earth did I become the mom of a 5th grader? She'll be entering middle school come fall. She's a bit nervous but excited as well.

Hey...we're going to Florida in a couple of weeks. My best friend Mimi invited us last summer to come spend some time with her and her boys, so, I booked some tickets and we're flying down on the 12th of June. We're flying back on the 20th. Yeah, 8 days. She has no CLUE what they're in for.......me and Light for 8 days. We'll see if she ever invites us back!!! We're getting 3 days in Disney for free. We're so psyched.

Oh and some of the biggest news of all. Light's teacher nominated her for this leadership forum that does a trip to D.C., NY and PA next summer. You have to be nominated to get the invitation. You then have to apply and if you get in, you then have to fundraise to get the money for the trip. It's such an honor to get invited. She'll get to meet the Iraqi Ambassador, speak to several senators and do some sightseeing. We're still trying to decide if we're going to do it. She's going to go ahead and apply and we'll take it from there.

That's been about it. I mean, I'm sure that there's some other stuff going on, but those are the highlights.

How have y'all been?

Later,

2010-03-11T08:07:00.002-06:00

Happy 10th Birthday, Light of My Life!!!

I love you.

And God Bless Drew Brees, And God....

2010-02-08T08:33:00.004-06:00

bless Sean Payton and God bless Tracy Porter and God bless Tom Benson and God bless the New Orleans Saints entire defensive and offensive lines and God bless the Who Dat Nation and God bless the city of New Orleans.

That had to be the most exciting game I've EVER seen. Of course, it's only the second Super Bowl I've ever watched from start to finish. My dogs thought I was going crazy with all the screaming and hooting and hollering. I need to check with my neighbors to verify, but I'm pretty sure they could hear me all over the hill.

Tracy Porter, you should win a medal for that simply GORGEOUS pass interception that Mr. Manning so sweetly sent your way.

I love you my home away from home. You done us proud. See you this weekend for the BEST MARDI GRAS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Dude, THEY Read My Blog!!!!!!!!

2009-12-04T14:11:00.001-06:00

Remember this post?

Well, check this out!

Spooky.........now, where the eff is my finders fee?

Later and have a jolly weekend, y'all!

You Can't Handle the Randomness!

2009-12-02T16:11:00.010-06:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A day late and a dollar short.

Tell it to my pimp!

My friend from New Orleans had bought me the tiny "Pimpin' Your Pumpkin" kit from Barnes and Noble. We found a pumpkin at Wal-Mart that was just perfect and we decorated that bitch up!

***************

Know what I did this past weekend?

Made a hermit crab cage!

Yeppers. With my own two little hands.

I bought the wire cover, snagged an extra pressed wood shelf from a storage unit that's not being used, cut apart an old cutting board and staple gunned the hell out of everything!

I have a temporary lid on it right now.

Anastasia looks pleased!

***************

You know how I've talked before about Operation Christmas Child?

Well, here's my new area that I keep all my supplies.

Yeah, those are all filled to the brim.

That's a crapload of stuff!

The kids should be happy!

We've already started on next years boxes. We've got about 50 so far. They're not complete though. I still need soap and washclothes and whatnot for them. But, since this is a year long thing for myself and Light, it'll get done.

***************

Speaking of the shoebox stuff.....a couple of weekends ago, we went to this discount store. Kind of like a Ross's or a TJ Maxx, but waaaaaaaaay down on the ladder. It doesn't look like much from the outside and sometimes you go there and the deals suck, but this time? PAY DIRT!

50 embroidered belts at 5 CENTS a piece and in total, 6 tubes of lip stuff (chapstick and lipstick)....all for LESS THAN SIX DOLLARS!!!!!

Pretty frickin' awesome!

***************

Have y'all ever seen my international rings that I wear almost every day?

No?

Well then, here you go.

On my ring finger is a cladagh ring (Irish)that I got in Epcot.

On my index finger is a crown ring (English) that I got in the Quarter in New Orleans......

and on my right hand, a Greek key ring.....straight outta Greece! Thanks to my Aunt C, that is.

***************

One downside to this new job?

When someone rents the building for a dinner or a banquet, the smell of the food cooking is DRIVING ME CRAZY! I'm so hungry for BBQ right now thanks to the people that are doing a dinner here tonight. They started cooking a couple of hours ago and my stomach is YELLING AT ME!!!

***************

Later,

Reason #176 Why I Love My Daughter

2009-11-19T08:28:00.005-06:00

Well, we all know she rocks. She truly does.

Tuesday morning, when I was getting ready for work and she was sitting on the couch waiting for our neighbors to pull down to the end of the driveway (indicating it's time for the bus), we were watching part of the Today show.

They were talking about Sarah Palin's new book that was coming out and made a mention that it was 400 pages long.

I said, "What on earth could she have to say that would cause a book to be 400 pages long?" and my incredibly clever daughter replied,

"The book must be large print."

***************

Speaking of my incredibly clever, talented and simply gorgeous daughter, she has a new post up at her blog.

It's poetry. Please be gentle to my budding poet.

Click HERE to go there.

Later,

RTT

2009-11-17T08:30:00.005-06:00

It's Tuesday.

You know what that means.

So.......cow weighing watch commences. No cow weighing today.

***************

You know what, I just realized you have absolutely NO CLUE what that means.

I failed to tell you what my new job is.

I now work for an Extension service for a big university here in my lovely state. I'm the office associate.

I basically answer phones, schedule rentals for the building, type up stuff, e-mail stuff, mail stuff, clean stuff, help people with stuff.

BUT.......what I'm highly anticipating.....and what they PROMISED me I could help with......which now that I think about it, most people might not want to do.....is I get to help weigh COWS! And other livestock!

Weighing cows. It doesn't get any cooler than that.

Ain't life grand?

***************

I had a strange dream last night.

It involved this guy:

and my best friend from high school. Somehow, I ended up with this guy but Jenny either had been involved with him and still liked him or just like him. It was a weird love triangle and I woke up feeling so guilty. We were never really interested in the same guys in high school. I stuck to dumb jocks and she stuck to smart actors. It was just a weird feeling I woke up with. I'm sure there's a deeper meaning, but I really don't care to explore what it might be.

***************

Sigh.......I wanna weigh some cows.

***************

Know what's happening here at work this morning? The 4-H club is making sweet potato log rolls. If you've never had one of these, let me tell you something. They are heaven all wrapped up in plastic.

I mean, the office is smelling soooooooooooooooooooo delicious right now. I just ate breakfast and am really not hungry, but the smell is making me hungry.

I just better not gain back any of that weight I lost earlier this year.

***************

Later,

Dear So and So

2009-11-13T07:25:00.003-06:00

Dear Me,

You can tell how much you've adapted to living in the country when you find yourself showering with a dog skull in the tub with you and you don't even bat an eye.

Scratching Head in Wonderment,

Me

****************

Dear Current Job,

Today is my last day with you. You've been........interesting to say the least. I'll miss all of the weird and wacky conversations my co-workers have had that they don't know I've been privy to since I've always got my earbuds in. Yeah, I don't keep the volume up THAT high on my iPod. I've heard EVERYTHING!!!! Mwah, hah, hah, hah, hah!!!!!

Sayonara,

Me

***************

Dear New Job,

Thank you for being 15 minutes away from my house instead of the 2 hour round trip drive I do every day with my soon to be former job.

Thank you for giving me 2 weeks off at Christmas...WITH pay.

Just.....thanks.....in general.

I hope we'll get along!

See you Monday at 8 a.m.,

Me

***************

Dear Sonic Breakfast Burrito,

Thank you for being so yummy.

Love,

My stomach and taste buds

***************

Dear Mom,

Next time you want to buy me a breakfast burrito from Sonic to take to work the next morning, I'll just take a junior one. The regular ones are too big (that's what she said!).

Thanks mommy!

Love,

Me

***************

Dear Last Day of Work,

Please don't be one of those LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG days.

Grateful in Advance,

Me

***************
Dear iPod,

Thank you so much for playing my songs this morning in the most random order I've ever experienced.

Here's a sampling:

Bloody Valentine-Good Charlotte
Buttons-Pussycat Dolls
Teddy Bear-Elvis Presley
It's Still Rock and Roll-Billy Joel
Come On and Dance-Steve Miller Band
Woman-Maroon 5
Manic Monday-The Bangles
Banana Boat Song-Harry Belafonte
I'm in Love with a Stripper-T-Pain

You rock,

Me

***************

If you want to play along, click here.

Later,

Is It Hot In Here Or Is It Just Me?

2009-11-04T13:53:00.006-06:00

Ok.

Don't judge me.

But these are my latest crushes.

Kevin Rankin from "Trauma"

Cliff Curtis from "Trauma"

Robert Knepper from "Heroes" and "Prison Break"
(yes, T-Bag......shut up)

John Slattery from "Mad Men"

Taylor Schilling from "Mercy"

Who are your most recent crushes?

Later,

Randomness Abounds

2009-11-03T07:22:00.008-06:00

It's Tuesday and you know what that means!!!!!!!!

Click to read and enjoy. And maybe even join in.

***************

Here's Light's jack-o-lantern.

I've been letting her design it for the past 5 years. Whatever she draws, I cut.

She's got such an imagination.

I simply adore the mouth. It was a bitch to cut, but it turned out great.

And I'm such a lazy mom...we didn't do the pumpkin until Saturday. The day of Halloween.

Sigh.....she'll forgive me one day.

Hopefully.

***************

I got an e-mail from a friend today. It's one that's been passed around before, but I died laughing at one of the "facts".

"If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb."

Dude, I've passed enough gas in my life to wipe Poughkeepsie off the map!

***************

I woke up this morning to the sound of a cat vomiting.

Happy Tuesday!

***************

When I went to go take my shower this morning, I found a Barbie pool party going on.

I also found Barbie sized underware just randomly tossed around the tub.

Those Barbies are sluts.

***************

I gave the dogs a bath last night.

In the tub in my house.

Max is only like 25 lbs, so that wasn't too bad.

Nikki is over 50 lbs.

I'll let you use your imagination on that one.

It wasn't pretty.

But at least they don't smell like ass anymore.

***************

I'll now leave you with one of my favorite songs from the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack.

Later,

Reason # 342 Why I Love My Child

2009-11-02T08:22:00.004-06:00

When asked by an elderly lady if she was a bee, she replied...

...."No ma'am, I'm a MONARCH butterfly."

Halloween costume, 2009

Ever seen a butterfly....excuse me, a MONARCH butterfly....with attitude?

How was your Halloween?

Later,

Dear So and So

2009-10-30T12:22:00.002-05:00

Dear Lady Walking In Front Of Me This Morning On The Way Into Work:

You know, the sidewalk is made wide enough that two people can walk side by side. Or if that's too uncomfortably close, you can at least walk past a slower walking person.

However, that little fact seemed to have eluded you this morning. Instead, you were bobbing and weaving from side to side worse than Sugar Ray.

Did you not notice me breathing down your neck as I tried to pass you?

Irritated,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Co-Worker That Got Pissed At Another Co-Worker For Wanting To Lock The Door:

Yeah, I don't blame them. I would feel like you might steal my shit, too.

Shut your trap and sit down like a good little girl.

No one wants to hear from you. Especially since you're a known liar.

Trust me, Elvis was NEVER married to your aunt......no matter what she said.

Again Irritated,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Captain Dumbass and Middle-Age Woman:

Thank you. Thank you so much for this. It made my day!

Grateful Zombie Lover,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Max,

Can you learn to speak human? I need to know what's going on with your foot. You're limping but I can't see the source for the limp.

Concerned,

Mama Dawg

***************

Dear Clock,

Can you please be 2:45?

Bored,

Mama Dawg

Wanna play along?

Click on the button.

Later,

BETRAYED.....I've Been BETRAYED!!!!!

2009-10-28T08:21:00.002-05:00

Oh, the horror. I've been betrayed in the worst possible way.

It's too much to talk about.

I'm still hurt.

Every time I think of it, I literally shake my head to make the thoughts fly out of my ever racing mind.

I can't believe she did that.

Scratch that, I can't believe she DIDN'T do that.

It's too much. Just too much.

The trust is gone.

*POOF*

Gone.

I don't know how I'm ever going to trust anything she ever says again.

My own mother.

Betrayer extraordinaire.

I came home on Monday afternoon and asked about the rat.

She said, "Why do you want to know?"

I just told her I was curious how she killed it.

She asked again why I wanted to know.

I told her as long as I didn't have to SEE it happening, it didn't bother me. Did she beat it to death? Find something toxic to feed it? Broke its tiny neck? I mean, she did SAY that she was going to kill it. Not take care of it, but actually used the word KILL.

All she simply said was that its now in a box in a bag hanging from a nail on the front porch and that on Wednesday, I was to just add it to the regular trash.

Gross, I know, but we can't toss the dead body in the woods. The dogs will drag it back out.

So, yesterday afternoon, my curiosity got the better of me.

I took the bag down off the nail and took the box out. I tore off the Scotch tape and peered inside.

Totally expecting to see blood and guts and yuckiness all around.

What I did not expect to see was a LIVE FUCKING RAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She didn't do it! She didn't kill it!

She betrayed me!

I was totally expecting to see a dead rat and it WASN'T FUCKING DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I did the only thing I could do......I found my duct tape and duct taped that box till it was nothing but a big silver rectangle.

I then taped the bag shut around the box.

At least I had the balls to suffocate it.

And after all that talk about how since she grew up in the country, it was easier for her to take care of stuff like that since it was how she grew up.

Gah........betrayer!

Later,

(P.S. I'm really not mad at her, but it did throw me for a loop)

She Cut Off Their Tail With A Carving Knife

2009-10-26T08:05:00.003-05:00

I feel like the farmer's wife.

Wait, not really.

I didn't cut off their tails with a carving knife and there was only one.......

......but what a formidable enemy it was!

I've been hunting down this sucker for a while now. I think it's mama was the one I was chasing down with a knife at 3:30 in the morning last winter. The same one my then recently de-balled dog failed to catch due to the lingering anesthetic he had been under the day before.

I've heard it IN MY COUCH WHILE I WAS LAYING DOWN ON IT!!! I've heard it scrabbling in the walls. I've seen it out of the corner of my eye running to safety.

Thanks to the modern technique of putting a shitload of super duper strong glue on a piece of plastic, I finally got it!

Of course, Mike (the cat in the pic) is taking FULL credit for catching it. He's running around like he's all proud of himself.

Of course, the dilemma now is how to kill it.

Yeah, kill it. I can't risk it coming back for revenge.

Good thing my mom volunteered to kill it for me.

I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. I could handle it if he had been trapped in a regular trap instead of this glue thing, but I can't do it if it's still alive.

It's too much like a pet. Ya know?

At least it'll be dead by the time I get home.

Oh, and that Donny and Marie record case? Suck it. If you want to read about that case, click here.

How was YOUR weekend?

Later,

Lookee, Lookee!!!

2009-10-22T08:07:00.005-05:00

As I've mentioned a few times on here, my mom and I both volunteer our time at a local Methodist rummage house.

Mom volunteers waaaaaaaaay more than I do, but then again, she's retired.

At least once a week, I make a run up there with her to help sort and stack the new stuff that's been donated and to get it ready for pricing and/or storage.

Mostly clothes are donated, but there are lots and lots of other things as well.

I've found all sorts of neat things there and decided that from now on, whenever I find something neat or interesting (at least to me), I'm gonna share it with you guys.

Maybe some of these things will bring back some memories or make you smile.

Last night, we went up there and there were 3 HUGE boxes filled with books and puzzles.

I was going through them to see what they had and look at what I found. I snatched it up right away and bought this bad boy. I couldn't resist.

It's a Disney puzzle from back in the late 50's/early 60's. They're selling for $20 on eBay!

But look at what the previous owner paid!

Yeah, 29 cents from Woolworth!

I love finding stuff like this. It totally makes my night!

I also found this puzzle and remembered that I had an old book that had to have been illustrated by the same person that designed this puzzle.

If anybody has any info on this illustrator or if it the design rings a bell, let me know, will ya?

The puzzle states it's from 1974. Which makes sense. I would have had book and puzzles from that time frame.

Have you ever found anything cool in rummage houses or junk stores?

Later,

And The Stars Rained Down From Heaven

2009-10-21T08:21:00.004-05:00

Did anyone happen to catch the meteor shower early this morning?

I always see the news articles on Yahoo that we're having one and every time, I make a note to get up at 2:30 or so to watch it.

But seriously y'all? Mama Dawg NEEDS her sleep.

However, I do get up at 4:30 each morning and this morning was no exception.

It was a crystal clear sky. No clouds, no moon and living out in the country as I do, no city light pollution.

I did manage to see a few meteors streak across the dark morning sky but that's not what took my breath away.

Because it was such a clear sky and because it is soooooooo pitch dark where I live, I could see literally thousands and thousands of stars. More than I can usually see. It kind of reminded me of that moment in The Breakfast Club when Ally Sheedy shakes her hair and all that dandruff falls on the desk. Except this was stars. So many stars.

I felt so small at that moment. So very, very, very small.

And of course, me being me and having the imagination that I do, I totally felt that any second now, I'd look up and see a GIGANTIC shoe with a HUGE leg attached come down and squish me flat. I actually looked up in horror for a split second.

Then........a totally peaceful calm settled down over me and I sat on the front porch with Nikki on one side and Max on the other and I let my soul rest for a few moments more before I went inside to gather up the trash to take to the street.

I've noticed that the older I get, the more these moments are necessary for my survival. I've also noticed that the older I get, the more I tend to take time to acknowledge and give reverence to these moments.

If the wind is blowing and it's a gorgeous blue sky fall day, I will stop whatever I'm doing, close my eyes and just let the wind wash over me. Just as I'll stop and take the time to look up at the starry night sky and let my soul breathe.

I will live in the moment.

Later,

Boys Will SOOOOOOOO Make Passes.....

2009-10-20T08:43:00.005-05:00

.....at this girl who wears glasses.

I'm in trouble, aren't I?

Light had to get glasses. We went last week for the appointment and they told us it would be 10 days before we would get them. They came in 3 days later but I didn't get a chance to pick them up until yesterday.

I wanted to get a couple of photos to post and this is one I got.

All I simply said was, "Hey Light, look at me" and the second she turned towards me, this is the shot I got.

Damn, I'm in so much trouble when she gets older.

Anyone got a shotgun?

Here she is when she first got them.

Here's my silly 9 (not 19) year old girl!

Later,

Slow Kisses Against A Car Door Updated!!!

2009-10-19T08:28:00.003-05:00

I don't know if you guys remember this post or not, but I wrote it a while ago.

Due to the miracle called a search engine, Brandon found me!

And e-mailed me! How cool is that?

Anyway, I love this post so much, I decided to do a re-post.

Damn, just seeing his name in my e-mail inbox gets me hot remembering that kiss.

Enjoy!

I’ve been kissing boys since I was 11. I got my first kiss from Chipper McMahon. Like Charlie Brown with his elusive little red-haired girl, Chipper was my little red-haired boy.

I crushed on him so hard from first grade til even after I moved away to Florida.

A couple of weeks before I moved, Chipper, my friend Jennifer Anderson, Michael Reulet and I all went to Sykes Park to have a final farewell get together. I was right at the precipice of teen-age-hood but not quite there yet.

We all kinda sorta liked each other. I still had a massive crush on Chipper, but Michael and I had “gone together” earlier that year and there were still some residual feelings. Jennifer, I think, liked Chipper and maybe was a little interested in Michael, but it was clear from the time we got there that there was going to be some competition between Chipper and Michael for my affections that night.

There was a playground there that had a slide. It was one of those that had the plastic tube around it but it went straight, it didn’t curve. I remember that we decided that we would all sit behind one another (spooning, for a visual, if you need it, except sitting up, not laying down) and then lay down to go down the slide. I can still clearly feel the thrill of having Michael’s head in my lap and having my head in Chipper’s but not really understanding why I was feeling that way. It was innocent fun, nothing remotely sexual, but that was the first time I can remember having “those” feelings.

Later, when it got dark, we decided to sit down and play spin the bottle. We were pretty much the only ones at the park at that time.We found a bottle laying around and that’s when I got my first kiss. It was one of those real quick-blink-and-you-miss-it situations. I know that the more we played, the bolder we got. Michael and Chipper kept egging each other to “slip ‘em the tongue”. I can remember getting flushed but not really understanding what would happen if they did that. I was alternately repulsed but at the same time, intrigued.

I do remember Jennifer out-right refusing to do that and even though I verbally agreed, inside I can remember kinda hoping it would happen just to see what it was like.

I then moved to Florida and received my first French kiss from Pat Petito. I was 12 and I can remember being sooooo nervous. I also remember what a shit he was about it.

He had been teasing me for days about giving me my first French kiss and in between bouts of wanting to puke my guts out, I was anxious.

Like I said, he was a total shit about it. I lived near enough to the school to walk and it was a frequent hang out spot for kids after the teachers and students had left for the day. I was there with a friend and he was there with a friend. They had ridden their bikes up to the school but Heather and I had walked.

He had me pressed up against the brick wall outside of the seventh grade classrooms. I had my arms pressed against the wall and was so anxious. He leaned in close, put his lips to mine and SQUIRTED WATER in my mouth. I was totally humiliated. I slapped him and ran all the way home with Heather chasing me all the way there. I could hear him laughing while I was running.

For whatever reason, I forgave him and he finally fulfilled his promise by going full throttle with the kiss.

Yeah, I should have waited for someone else. It was slobbery and awkward and just gross. I can remember thinking “I waited for THIS?”

However, after I got rid of him and moved on to better boys, the kissing got much better.

I still had a few duds along the way but for the most part, they were pleasant and dreamy and wonderful.

I liked kissing. I liked the feelings of having my eyes closed while we did things with our lips and tongues that some of my girlfriends hadn’t experienced.

As much as I enjoyed kissing, I was not prepared for Brandon Delledonne.

In high school, I was a wrestlerette. This was kind of a wrestling cheerleader but we went beyond cheering for the wrestlers. We set up the gym, got our chosen guys bags filled with their favorite kinds of candy or snacks or drinks. We decorated and encouraged and whatnot.

Part of our duties were to walk in the opposing teams wrestlers and then walk in our own team.

Brandon was a wrestler from another school. I was the one that lead his school in at one of our matches.

We flirted and talked. I was 16 when I met him. Over the next two years, we would see each other at wrestling matches but we never hooked up. The timing was never right. Either he had a girlfriend (who was always in the stands) or I had a boyfriend.

When I turned 18, I started going “clubbing” with my friend Mimi (from the Drug Mule story). We used to go to a club called “The Embassy” EVERY Saturday night.

One night was while I was dancing my ass off, I spotted Brandon through the crowd. I hadn’t seen him in almost a year. I went over to him and said hi. He remembered me and we talked for a while. For the first time since we had known each other, we were both single. We exchanged numbers and that was that, or so I thought.

Well, he called. And asked me if I wanted to go out and do something. I said sure. He lived about 30 minutes away but decided to make the drive out to where I lived. Instead of going out, we decided to rent a movie and get Taco Bell for dinner. We stayed in at my house. My mom retreated to her bedroom and closed her door to give us some privacy.

We ate our Taco Bell and sort of half assed watched the movie. I kept looking at him out of the corner of my eye and we would do those little touchy things. You know what I mean…arm around the shoulder, finger making circles on his thigh, him rubbing my arm, me laying my head on his shoulder, etc….

I remember when it was time for him to head out, I walked him outside. I can remember that I was barefoot and wearing jeans.

We got to my car and he gently pushed me back against my door. He leaned in for our first kiss. I was anxious but ready all the same.

You know how you read about feeling electricity shoot from your connected lips all the way down to your “spot”?

Yeah, that’s what it was like. For the first time in my life, I was experiencing a really truly passionate kiss. One that had me pressing my entire body against his. One that had me fumbling for naked flesh under his shirt. One that almost made me have an orgasm OUTSIDE UP AGAINST MY CAR DOOR. Completely clothed and just with his lips touching mine.

It was THAT good.

I couldn’t get enough.

I was hungry for him.

Unfortunately, he had to leave me high and dry (well, not really, if you know what I mean) because he had to leave right then to get home in time to get some sleep before work the next day.

We “dated” for the next couple of weeks, but except for the kissing (and almost but not quite other stuff), we didn’t really have much in common.

The relationship, as it were, didn’t last long.

But to this day, I can still remember that kiss.

And also to this day, I’ve not had another like that.

Sigh…………

Anyone ever had one of those?

Later,

A Link and Two Photos

2009-10-09T09:41:00.003-05:00

Yeah, not very creative, I know.

I have Monday and Tuesday and next Friday off. Light is out of school on Mon and Tues and on Fri, she has a field trip that I wanted to go on, so I'm looking forward to next week.

On Tuesday, she is going to the eye doctor. She seems to be having problems seeing the board at school. Since literally EVERY ONE in our family has glasses, it's inevtible. I just wanted to hold off for a few more years.

Oh, well, at least she looks cute in glasses. At least she looks cute in mine when she tries them on.

***************

The Flip Flop Queen posted a new blog post over at Flip Flops in the Sun.

Go check it out. It's really cute and fun. I had post it for her this morning but she told me what to say and how to post it.

Bossy little thing!

***************

Here's a pic of Nikki taken last night.

She's still a dream dog.

And here's my favorite little man, Max. The original dream dog.

What have y'all got planned for the weekend? Anything fun?

Later,

Random, Random and more Random

2009-10-07T12:18:00.004-05:00

Yeah, I'm off a day.

***************

While I was in the bathroom, the song "Local God" by Everclear came on my iPod.

What? You don't listen to your iPod while on the pot?

Why not?

Anyway, it reminded me how much I loved the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack when it came out.

I loved it so much, I had BOTH c.d.'s of the soundtrack.

***************

Speaking of bathrooms, do you ever have one of those daily constitutionals where you practically have to be double jointed in order for it to exit your body?

I don't think I've ever had to work that hard for something to EXIT my body.

Labor not counting since I had an emergency c-section.

And to top it off, when checking it's size (cause surely it had to be a HUGE one), I was terribly disappointed and a bit peeved to find that it was just a normal sized one.

***************

Yeah, I just talked about poop.

Dr. Oz says we always need to check after we go even though no one will admit that they do.

How else can you remember what night you had corn?

***************

Speaking of music (not that we were just a second ago), I decided my top three soundtracks are as follows:

1. Grosse Pointe Blank
2. Romeo + Juliet
3. Mamma Mia

***************

Yeah, I like ABBA. So what?

***************

Dear cabbage,

I love you. I truly, truly, truly do.

But, is there any way that we can just get rid of that enzyme or whatever it is that makes me so gassy?

Thanks,

Me

****************

Speaking of cabbage, I have an INCREDIBLE recipe for you.

Ingredients:

Half a head of cabbage
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
1/3 cup water
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon of pepper (or to taste....I like a little more)
3 tablespoons sugar
1/2 stick of butter

Cut the half head of cabbage into small pieces. Don't shred, just cut.

Melt half a stick of butter in a deep pan. While that's melting, mix the remaining ingredients together in a bowl.

After the butter has melted, add the mixed sauce to the pan and let it come to a boil.

Once it comes to a boil, add the cut cabbage. Stir it around so the sauce gets mixed in good with the cabbage.

Put a lit on the pan and let the cabbage cook until soft.

For more flavor, let it slightly caramelize. It's soooooooooooooooooooo damn good it's not even funny.

***************

Oh my stars in heaven.

We had the best meal ever last night.

It included the above mentioned cabbage and a Hormel extra lean pork loin that was Pomegranate Basil flavored.

I've never had pork that was so tasty in my life.

And it's so easy to make. Just cut it out of its packaging, fold it loosely in some foil, stick in a pan and cook for like 40 minutes on 350 in the oven.

Delish.

And it makes terrific sandwiches the next day.

Just ask my tummy.

***************

And my rear.

***************

I'm thinking of getting rid of Who Would You Do?

Not many people seem to play anymore.

***************

I'm dying to do a photo shoot with Light this weekend. Hopefully it'll work out. Fingers crossed.

***************

Eh, that's it. I know there was more....oh, wait, I forgot.

We had the BEST thunderstorm like at 3:30 this morning. I could have sworn we had an inexperienced high school marching band right outside of my windows....that's how LOUD the thunder was.

It was awesome.

***************

"Shame" by the Avett Brothers is playing right this second on my iPod.

***************

Later,

Who Would You Do?

2009-10-05T08:28:00.009-05:00

Since I had a very strange intimate dream about Pierce Brosnan last night, you all are treated to a .007 extravaganza.

And no, sex was not involved in my dream. And Pierce changed into a completely different non-actor person in my dream. A Viking woman was involved as well as a dead wife and me having to change clothes for absolutely no reason.

Oh, and a Starbucks muffin and hot tea.

Whatever....

On to today's edition of "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Which James Bond would you prefer to stir, not shake, you in the boudoir?

The "looks like a contestant on Dancing with the Stars" Timothy Dalton.

The "looks like a froggy" Sean Connery.

The "looks like he's trying not to drop a deuce" Roger Moore.

The "looks like he knows how to handle his extra large gun" Pierce Brosnan.

The "looks like he DOESN'T know how to handle his teeny tiny gun" George Lazenby.

The "looks like he should have been cast as the butler who did it in Clue" David Niven.

The "looks like ice wouldn't melt on his ass" Daniel Craig.

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Discovered a New Blog

2009-10-04T15:37:00.001-05:00

Y'all really, really, really need to check this one out.

Flip Flops in the Sun.

You won't regret it!

Love,

Mama Dawg

What I'm Listening To These Days

2009-10-01T12:05:00.003-05:00

Here's a small sampling of what I've been listening to and LOVING lately!

I heard this guy on NPR (shut up) and fell in love with this song. He's also an author/singer/songwriter/screenwriter.

Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!! Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds - Click here for this week’s top video clips

This one never fails to get my ass up out of my seat and DANCING, BABY, DANCING!!!

What are y'all listening to these days?

Later,

Mama Dawg

G-O T-E-A-M!!!

2009-09-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

The week before last, LOML went to Jr. Cheer camp.

This is where I pay 30 bucks for her to get a t-shirt she only wears once and stays after school for an hour and a half learning cheers that over half the girls in her "group" forget halfway through their performance.

But...it puts a smile on her face and here in our tiny town, it's almost a given that she'll be widely accepted by EVERYONE for being a cheerleader.

Antiquated? Yes.

Anti-Feminist? Yes.

Fun for her? Sigh....yes.

So, I let her.

She's been dancing since she was 2 1/2 so I can't say that this wasn't inevitable.

Especially in football country.

I was a cheerleader for one whole year. I barely remember it. I was in the fifth grade.

I did dance for 7 years though.

Not that I look like a dancer anymore.

LOML has thighs that could crack a walnut and calf muscles that make you weep for the sheer perfection. She has a dancer's body.

She did have a blast. Her cheerleader coaches (varsity cheerleaders) let her group do a stunt.

LOML got to be 1/3 of a group that held up one of her friends while they did a cheer.

It was so awesome. She was a "spotter".

Here she is in the stands at the game on Friday night. They got to perform at a pep rally at the elementary school that afternoon and later that evening, they got to perform before the game started and during the first quarter.

She's the one staring at the camera with a bewildered look on her face.

Sorry for the bad quality. I didn't have my tripod with me so I didn't get a good shot. This is when they were doing their dance before the game started.

Here she is doing her cheer in the first quarter. Notice she's not hamming it up for me (not like her BFF, L, right next to her!). She's all serious about this.

Here's a vid of her dance.

And here's a vid of her cheer.

I'm such a proud mama!

Later,

Mama Dawg

RTT

2009-09-29T07:41:00.004-05:00

This is my second attempt at organized randomness.

Click on the purple button for more randomness.

***************

I am the best griller EVER! I am the QUEEN OF THE MOTHEREFFIN' GRILL!

On Sunday night we decided to grill some tilapia and veggies.

First up, corn on the cob in foil packets.

Oh, my stars in heaven. The smell of the corn was delicious.

Up next: squash, zucchini, onions and orange bell peppers kabob. Lightly basted with some olive oil, garlic salt and black pepper.

Then......the fish. Oh, the fish. Oh, my, the fish. Oh, my my my, the fish. 3 of the 5 pieces were basted with this soy/honey/etc...sauce and the other two were just sprinkled with salt and pepper (for LOML).

Last: pears. Yes, pears. Nothing on them. Just the natural juiciness of the pears.

It was the best meal I've EVER HAD!

I rock the grill.

***************

Here's Nikki when she first discovered J.D. laying on my bed.

See her standing up with her front paws on the bed? Yeah, shortly after this, she lunged at him.

Nikki's now a fully outdoors dog! LOL!

***************

I've discovered a new artist. He's a songwriter/screenwriter/singer/something else.

His name is Nick Cave and his song "Dig, Lazarus, Dig" is incredible.

Google it.

***************

I've been obsessed with historical fiction lately.

Especially the French Revolution.

And not so much Marie Antoinette.

Have y'all ever heard of Annette Vallon? She was William Wordsworth's French Mistress. I just recently finished "Annette Vallon" by James Tipton and it was incredible.

Granted, liberties were taken to write the story. She did exist and did bear his child, Caroline, but the rest is, of course, fiction.

It was a wonderful story.

***************

Have y'all seen the new show "Community"?

I think I like it. Not sure yet, but I think I do.

I do know I like "Mercy" and I just watched "Trauma"'s debut last night. It was pretty good.

I only get one channel. NBC. So that means I'm stuck with Jay Leno 5 nights a week.

Needless to say, I go to bed at 9 now!

Give me more time to read and/or watch my DVD's.

***************

I always feel like
Somebody's watching me

***************

As I'm writing this sentence, "Prowlin'" by the T-Bones ("Birds, T-Birds") from the Grease 2 soundtrack is playing.

"Cause I'm the leader of this here pack!"

***************

It was chilly this morning. I'm so happy to be wearing boots and a 3/4 length sleeve shirt.

I LOVE fall!

***************

I love that they let me wear my iPod at work. The conversations around here are redundant and redundant.

***************

This weekend, I worked my rear off. I bought a new shelving unit and put it up in the dining room (I live in a tiny house, so space is at a minimum...wherever I can put something up to help keep it organized, I will....therefore, a shelving unit in the dining room!).

It now holds all my Operation Christmas Child supplies plus my photo albums.

I cleaned out my closet, traded all the summer clothes for winter clothes and just cleaned in general.

We also went to the storage unit and got all the Halloween decorations out.

We're thinking of having a Halloween party. Maybe.

It felt good to do all that work.

***************

That's all folks! Have a great Tuesday!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-09-28T07:09:00.002-05:00

It's Monday.........again.

I had a great weekend. Did lots of stuff at the house. I'll save all the juicy (read: boring) details for tomorrow's post.

That's right, y'all. I'm actually going to do two posts in a row! Been a long time since I've done that.

Let's get right to what you came for today, "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

No specific reason for this one today. Just felt like the men needed a bone (hee, hee, I said bone) thrown to them.

These ladies are feeling frisky and risky, and each is praying that you’ll want to join her for some carnal cavorting. Heather Locklear is skinny dipping in the Melrose Place communal pool. Heather Graham is having a Boogie Nights moment and is roller skating naked around your limousine. Who would you do?

Ms. Locklear

Ms. Graham

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Summertime

2009-09-25T09:47:00.011-05:00

Well, as usual, I'm late on these things. I wanted to get this up before the first day of fall, but alas, it was not meant to be.

We had a pretty good summer here. Granted, I was at work, but still. LOML had a good one. She practically lived at the pool. Turned brown as a berry and that's WITH 60 s.p.f. and multiple applications! She has the same kind of skin as I do. Or, the same kind as I used to have. After having LOML, for some reason, my pigment changed. I blame all the changes to my body on the pregnancy! LOL!

Anyway, when I was cleaning out the back porch one day, I stumbled across this tent that we've never put up or used.

LOML has never been camping and I've only been a few times. The thought of putting up a tent terrified me as I always saw in movies and whatnot how hard it was.

While LOML was off somewhere, I decided to pitch the tent in the yard to the side of the house as a surprise. I figured if we could practice camping in our yard, we'd finally be able to get up the nerve to try it out in the actual wilderness.

LOML doesn't quite understand the whole concept of camping as she decided that it was absolutely necessary to bring in photos and floor chairs and books and whatnot into the tent.

Who am I to correct her?

And to let you know the outcome of the evening.....we were back in the house by 1:30 a.m.

But not because we got scared.

But because Max heard a frog or saw a bat fly in the night or felt an invisible cat walk by him or something and WOULD NOT SHUT UP!!!

He has it in his head that if we're anywhere outside, he has to protect us from EVERYTHING!!! Including the wind.

Poor thing, I know he was only wanting to protect us, but still....c'mon, man. Give it a break! LOL!

We did have fun though. We might try it again in a couple of weeks when the nights are a bit cooler.

Also, for the first time, I brought out the Slip N Slide. For some reason, we have two of these. LOML had never been on one before (my bad, I kept forgetting to get it out for her to use).

I know you're supposed to put them on a flat surface, but it was more fun to do it on a hill. With the end being on the down slope of the hill! LOL!

She had invited her friend M over to play and then they got it in their little heads to play on this. Yes, they are outside in nothing but t-shirts and undies. Remember when you could get away with that?

They had a blast. LOML never really got over her nervousness of going down head first. She would never get a proper running start so she'd always stop halfway down the slide! She would then get to the end by doing flips.

At least she's creative.

This is LOML and Mike after that afternoon of hard play.

Well, hard play for her. Not so much for the lazy cat that sleeps 20 hours a day.

What's so remarkable about this cat is that literally, for the first four years of her life, he WOULD NOT BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS HER.

Now? Look at him! He's really asleep, too.

He lets her make him dance and lets her dress him up in doll clothes.

Where is my old curmudgeon Mike?

Here she is on a Sunday morning before church. The night before, she got it her head to put in curlers and sleep in them overnight.

She wanted curly hair for the next day.

Sigh......she's growing up so quickly. To totally embarrass her, she is now wearing a friggin' BRA!!!

GAH!!!!

And I won't even tell you about the other developments that have occurred. No need to have her commit hari kari before she's 10.

How was your summer?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-09-21T08:24:00.006-05:00

Mornin' dawgs! How's things? Did you have a good weekend?

Mine wasn't too shabby. Happy birthday again V! Finally legal (well almost...still three years til I can party properly with you, but I can wait!)!!!!

It's that time again, time for "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Since I work in a hospital, I thought we 'd go the medical doc route. Enjoy!

Here’s the bad news: you’ve broken both your legs in a terrible accident and it is going to be months before you're on your feet again. The good news: one of these tv docs is going to be by your side 24/7 to nurse you back to health. Who would you want to fulfill your passion prescription:

Dr. John Carter

Doogie Howser, M.D.

Dr. Luka Kovac

Trapper John, M.D.

or Marcus Welby, M.D.?

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Not Here Today

2009-09-10T08:40:00.001-05:00

Today, I'm in Hawaii.

Come join me!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Can You Smell It?

2009-09-01T06:49:00.002-05:00

It's just right around the corner. I can feel the eyes of autumn on my back.

I am sooooooooooo damn excited it's almost here.

For the past couple of mornings, it's been a bit chilly in the morning when I've left the house at 5:30 to go to work.

The dogs are feeling it, too. They're friskier and just want to play all day. They're eating more and drinking less.

I came into work this morning and put my iPod on and "Black Cat" by Janet Jackson was the first song to come up on shuffle.

Granted, that doesn't mean much to you, but I can remember listening to this song over and over and over again when hanging out the in park in Florida after school. Usually when it was a bit chilly.

Everything smells sharper and looks brighter.

I feel like Lorelei Gilmore in "The Gilmore Girls" in that episode in season 1 when she opens her window and smells snow. I can smell the seasons when they're coming but the one that I can smell the most is autumn and I don't know why. It's just a crisp, sharp smell in the air and it gives me good chills.

It's right around the corner, y'all, and I couldn't be happier.

Can you smell it?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-08-31T07:35:00.006-05:00

It's Monday.....again.

Had a good weekend. Went to a big city on Saturday and got LOML some jeans and a couple of tops. Found her Greek yogurt at a Kroger and that totally made her weekend. Lazed around all day Sunday and finally got off my ass around 4 to clean the bathroom floor and then grill some chicken kabobs. I had this jar of pineapple mango salsa that was perfect for marinating. Tossed some chicken in the marinade, added some mushrooms, onions, zucchini and squash on the skewers and grilled those bad boys. Damn, I'm a good griller. Never knew I had it in me. LOML wanted teriyaki instead of what we ate, so I did that just for her.

Anyhoo, here's Monday's "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest). Enjoy!

These three ladies know how to do everything right: make the perfect bed, cook the perfect meal, and always look fresh as a daisy doing it. Would you do: June Cleaver from Leave It To Beaver, Donna Reed from from The Donna Reed Show, or Harriet Nelson of The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet?

Mrs. Cleaver

Mrs. Reed

Mrs. Ozzie

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

So, how was YOUR weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Grateful. So Grateful

2009-08-27T07:31:00.004-05:00

I'm grateful for the friends who responded to my previous post, I'm grateful that Nikki is just a big old baby and isn't seriously injured, I'm grateful that J.D. is still alive, I'm grateful that I have an amazing kid who never fails to put a smile on my face every stinkin' day, I'm grateful my mom and I get along, I'm grateful that I have a job, I'm grateful that I live in a place where when I sit down in the grass with my dogs surrounding me and I'm watching my daughter make up a dance to a song that it soothes my soul and makes me realize just how grateful I am.

Just grateful.

Thanks again friends.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Tired. So Tired.

2009-08-26T13:49:00.002-05:00

The title says it all.

Tired of my job, tired of J.D. having so many seizures, tired of not having any money, tired of driving an hour each way to work, tired of my car having problems all of a sudden, tired of gas prices, tired of political talk, tired of not having energy to do squat even though I get home around 3:30 or 4 every day, tired of J.D. pissing on the floor instead of the litter box, tired of my attitude towards EVERYTHING.

Just tired.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-08-24T07:18:00.007-05:00

Ahhhh......Monday, you're a bitch. Truly you are. I had a good weekend. I cleaned off the back porch yesterday and grilled for the first time. Yep, I kicked my grills ass. Those turkey burgers were to die for and the hot dogs were just like I like 'em. Can't wait to break that bad boy out again to cook some more.

The girl across the highway stayed over for dinner last night and when her dad, L, came to get her, I bragged to him about my new found grilling skillz. In all seriousness, he shook my hand and said he was proud of me.

Does that make me one of the boys now? Do I now have to grab my crotch, turn my head to spit out some chaw and chug a beer while I grill?

With all the testosterone floating around my backyard yesterday, I need a touch of femininity this morning.

For today's "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest), I've chosen some lovely ladies for you to ogle.

Nicole Kdman, Penelope Cruz, Mimi Rogers and Katie Holmes have all had intimate moments with Tom Cruise. But don't let that put you off. Which one of these women would you like to get carnal with?

Ms. Kidman, if you please. There's just something about a strawberry blond ice princess.

A feisty Latina for anyone? Ms. Cruz certainly fits the bill. Something about those dark, exotic eyes.

Eh, other than a cool sounding name (my BFF is named Mimi), she doesn't do squat for me.

I've always thought Ms. Holmes was kinda smokin'. Especially during the latter years on Dawson's Creek. She's gone down a few points though since she married that couch jumping alien, but you know, we all make mistakes.

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was YOUR weekend? Do anything fun?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-08-17T07:18:00.003-05:00

Hello and welcome again to yet another edition of "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest), the wildly disgusting (and sometimes titillating) Monday morning game brought to you by yours truly.....Mama Dawg.

I went with a tennis theme this Monday morning. Why? Cause that's the page I turned to and I'm too lazy to flip the pages to look for something better.

You're welcome.

Here we go:

You’re the ump at a pro tennis tournament and Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi and John McEnroe have all been very, very bad boys on the court. In order to get to the semifinals they must prove to you just how sorry they are. Who do you start with?

Ladies (and some gentlemen), do you know how hard it is to find a hot picture of Pete Sampras? Most pics have his mouth in funny positions and not in a good way.

I couldn't decide if I should do a pic from the shaggy mullet days or post-shaggy mullet days. Since I like baldies, I went with post.

Know what's even harder to find than a hot picture of Pete Sampras? A picture of John McEnroe with his mouth CLOSED.

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was your weekend? Do anything exciting?

Later,

Mama Dawg

It's Like Noah's Ark But Not

2009-08-13T10:55:00.009-05:00

One of my favorite things about living out in the country is all the animals that surround us. From wildlife like deer, skunks and snakes to domesticated animals (if you can call the kittens that) like dogs, kittens and horses.

We have a friend that lives up the road from us that houses her nephews horses in addition to the 2 older dogs, 2 rescue puppies and 3 rescue kittens.

Needless to say, LOML and I are in HEAVEN when we go over there. And we go often.

In fact, we've been to her house 3 times in the past week alone.

Between using her computer, watching cable TV and playing with the animals, LOML thinks this is equal to going to Disney World.

This is one of the rescue kitties. I love the "evil" squint he has going on. There's another one that looks just like him and the third kitty is grey and white. Of the three, the grey and white one is the friendliest. The others aren't unfriendly, but they just prefer the company of each other rather than humans.

Here's LOML feeding one of the horses an apple slice. This was the first time she had been up close and personal with a horse.

I love the expression on her face after she felt him gently nuzzle her hand and take the slice. Priceless!

Here's a short vid of her feeding the horse. Please excuse my parenting skills. She has this bad habit of talking like a baby sometimes when she's nervous and it drives me crazy!

Here she is holding one of the kittens.

I love seeing her so open and free with all the animals. Makes this animal loving mama's heart proud.

Of course, the cat looks put upon, but oh, well. That's what you get for letting her capture you!

And here she is playing with one of the puppies.

Look at that fat belly! And yes, I am referring to the puppy!

I wish I lived further back on some land so I could have a menagerie like this.

One day....

Later,

Mama "Old McDonald" Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-08-10T07:12:00.005-05:00

All righty, boys and girls. It's that time of the week again! MONDAY!

Time for "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

Since I couldn't decide if I wanted to do boys or girls today (yeah, yeah, insert your own joke here), I decided to pick one that had one of each.

You're welcome.

"It’s your Basic Instinct moment and both Sharon Stone Stone and Michael Douglas are trying to distract you with some full frontal flashing. Where do your eyes go?"

Ms. Stone?

Or Mr. Douglas?

And, as usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

How was YOUR weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Nikki's Story

2009-08-07T07:00:00.006-05:00

I love how my pets all find me. Even if it's not a rescue situation (like Mike, the cat), they all still have such great stories.

I have a best friend named Mimi (mentioned here numerous times) that lives in Orlando and has a dog named Naya that LOOKS and ACTS just like Max. She had some pics posted on her Facebook and low and behold, they did look like they could be siblings. I even got to meet Naya back in June when we were at Disney World. (that's a story for later and it's a doozy.)

As you all know, I did a post on Max's friend Foxey who got hit by a car. I was telling Mimi all about it and how depressed Max was and how much he cherished having a companion and someone to play with every day.

I mentioned how I had put in a phone call to my vet to let them know that I was on the lookout for a new dog and she said something to the effect of "I bet Max and Naya (that was her name before we got her) would love each other" and I agreed but thought nothing of it at that moment.

A little while later, she asked if I wanted Naya because she was going to have to give her up because her house was too small for Naya and that Naya really needed to be somewhere where she had space to run and play and live.

I thought she was joking.

Seriously, I thought she was joking.

But she was dead serious.

However, due to my smallish car and lack of finances to rent a car, there was no way I could meet her halfway to pick Naya up.

So......she offered to drive all the way from her house in Orlando to mine! It's a 12 freaking hour drive! Each way! And, she had just driven to and from Arizona on a vacation with her boys!

Talk about friendship!

So, the plan was set for her and her mom and Naya to drive up from Orlando on Saturday, stay for dinner and some visiting, go to their hotel room to stay the night and leave the next day as Mimi had to be back at work on Monday. (and yes, I offered to put them up for the night but she said her mom would be more comfortable in a hotel)

I could NOT believe that she was willing to do this for me (and for Max).

Of course, she said it was because she knew Naya would be going to a good home, but still........that's a true sign of friendship right there.

Anyway, Naya settled in quite nicely with our little family. She's endlessly fascinated by the cats and tolerates Max's, uh, how do I say this.....sexual advances. Yes, even though they're both fixed, Max still tried to prove how much of a man he is any chance he gets. However, I keep telling him that he needs to read some instruction manual because last time I checked, her, uh, "love center" was not located near her shoulder or in the middle of her back.

Yeah, Don Juan he's not.

Anyway, Mimi had told me that since she had only had Naya for about 6 months, she still wasn't responding 100% of the time to her name and if we wanted to change it we could.

I liked the name Naya but Maggie wanted to change it. She wanted something that went with Max a little better and we came up with the name Nikki.

It seems to fit her.

Here's Max and Nikki in the yard. She how much bigger she is? She's probably just over 50 lbs. Max is around 26 or so.

Here they are in my car window Wednesday morning when I was seeing LOML off to the bus. I love how Max is trying to keep up with Nikki.

Here's a short vid of them playing in the yard yesterday afternoon. This is for Pseudo at her request!

Later,

Mama Dawg (boy, I'm sure living up to that name these days!)

4th Grade

2009-08-06T08:34:00.006-05:00

Gah, it's here already.

Yesterday was the first day of school for LOML. 4th grade.

Yeah, I said it. 4th grade.

I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.

Here she is eating her breakfast at the kitchen table. Notice the sleepy eyes? Yeah, it's like 6:30 in the morning. I'm usually getting to work at this time and she's just getting ready for school.

I took yesterday off of work to see her off. I've done that every year (except kindergarten when we were evacuated due to Hurricane Katrina) and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

It was raining yesterday morning but cleared up just before she got on the bus. By the afternoon, it was gorgeous outside.

Here's Nikki saying good-bye. She was fascinated with being able to peek in the windows of the car.

Here she is. Off to her first day of 4th grade.

She's HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I soooooooooo wanted to run down the driveway and tackle her in a BIG HUG, but I refrained......barely.

If you click on the pic, you can see the HUGE smile on her face.

The first day of 4th grade went wonderfully. She loves her teacher, she gets to sit next to her friend and she already has homework!

Yeah, that was actually one of the highlights of the day. Already getting homework. It's actually not due until Monday but she couldn't wait to do some work.

Fingers crossed it stays this way FOREVER!

4th grade.....*shaking head*.....I can't believe it's here.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Random Tuesday Thoughts

2009-08-04T07:30:00.002-05:00

Aaaacckkkkk.......I'm jumping into this whole organized random thing.

Isn't that, like, wrong? To organize random thoughts? On a specific day?

No?

Well, if you want to read more random thoughts, click this here little button.

It'll take you to more weirdness.

---------------

I got to work this morning and was turning my phone off and noticed that when I was going through the motions of silencing my phone before turning it off (yeah, I do that. I hate hearing that automatic annoying as frick sound when I turn it off or on), the particular sequence of buttons I have to push to do that sounds EXACTLY like that banana fana fo fana song.

You know the one:

Chuck, chuck, bo buck, banana fana fo.....wait a minute, I need to use a different name.

Mary, mary bo bary, banana fana fo fary, me my mo mary, Maaaaarrrryyy.

---------------

My new dog farts.

---------------

She also drools. But not in that Turner and Hooch way. Just a little bit.

---------------

My cat J.D. hat a fit last week and tore the living hell out of my thumb. He was having a seizure or a fit or something and my thumb happened to be near his mouth when he did it. He clamped down sooooooooo hard that it was like trying to pry open the jaws of a pit bull. I was thisclose to slinging him across the room because of the pain. And I have a HIGH tolerance for pain. He also scratched the hell out of my other hand when I was trying to pry open his jaws. Poor thing. I don't blame him, it wasn't his fault. He's just getting so old and....gah...I don't want to think about it.

I almost went to the emergency room because the puncture wounds looked deep. I think one of them went to the bone.

It's better now. Thanks for asking.

---------------

LOML starts the FOURTH GRADE tomorrow. Where the hell did the time go?

---------------

Seriously, where did it go?

---------------

I need to finish my Disney posts. But they're sooooo exhausting to write. And I'm feeling peckish about, well, everything these days.

---------------

I have a gazillion centipedes roaming my house. Both inside AND outside. It's gross hearing their little bodies crunch when I tred on them. I've taken to picking them up and tossing them in the toilet.

It's the first year we've had this problem. My aunt says it's because of the unusual amount of rain we had in May. I dunno. All I know is that it's gross.

---------------

My mom, both aunts, grandmother and daughter all went up to my cousin's peach orchard last week while I was at work (sucks to be me) and picked tons and tons and tons of peaches. They are, hands down, the BEST peaches I've ever had.

---------------

That's yet another reason why I love living in the country. I have fresh homegrown peaches in my fruit bowl and homegrown blackberries, plums and blueberries in my freezer. We've also had homegrown tomatoes this summer as well as homegrown corn that is the sweetest corn you'll ever eat. Mom found this amazing corn casserole recipe that is to DIE for. And people here just GIVE THIS STUFF TO YOU FOR NO REASON! They just drop by and say "here, have some corn". I mean, we know the people, they're not strangers or anything, but it's still so neat to have people think of you. We've also gotten eggs from this lady that raises chickens.

I'm still so citified though, that I was afraid everytime I'd crack open an egg to scramble, a dead baby chick would fall out instead.

---------------

Is it 5 o'clock yet?

---------------

Thanks to everyone that e-mailed me while I was taking my little break. It was nice to be missed.

---------------

I'll be back to "Who Would You Do" Monday's next week. Never fear. You'll get your weekly dose of gross soon enough.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Everyone.....

2009-08-03T07:14:00.005-05:00

.....meet Nikki.

C'mon girl, don't be shy.

Dang, focus is blurry.

O.k. now, sweetie, back away.

There you are.

Nikki, meet everyone.

Max now has a companion. I'll tell the story tomorrow or the day after.

Just wanted everyone to meet the newest member of our family.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Foxey, She Was A Good Dog

2009-07-21T07:33:00.002-05:00

I know I said I was taking a break, and I am, but I had to get this out.

My heart is hurting today.

Last night, we went to go visit a friend of ours. We didn't leave her house until after nine last night. When we approached the driveway to our house, we saw a prone figure right past the drive. It was small and furry.

I knew something had gotten hit in front of our house, but we live out in the country. It's normal to see dead animals in the road all the time.

However, something told me that this wasn't an armadillo or a fox or a cat.

Something told me it was Foxey.

For those of you who don't know Foxey, she is our neighbors dog. The cutest little thing you've ever seen. She's always been an outside dog and when Max, our dog, came along, they hit it off right away. Foxey was at our house almost as much as she was at hers. I saw that dog EVERY DAY.

She had a way of begging for a belly rub by looking at you with those brown eyes and then flopping on her back and exposing her belly.

It was so cute, you couldn't help but oblige.

Even my mom gave in. And she's not a big "petter" of animals.

She was such a smart dog, too. I know that in the end a car got her, but she really was pretty car smart. There were occasions of near misses, but you get that a lot around here.

When we pulled in the driveway and got out of the car, Max came up to me and was whining. He usually greets us with some very enthusiastic fully body twists or by jumping up on us, but this time, he made his way to me and sat near me and whined.

That was my second clue that it was Foxey lying there in the road.

I told my mom and LOML to go inside the house and wait until after I had a chance to take a look. I went and grabbed my flashlight and walked to the road.

As soon as I saw the red flea collar, I knew.

And I cried. I cried like a baby while standing over her wee body.

I cried for this little furry bundle of love.

I cried for the two girls across the road who just lost a pet.

I cried for Max who was obviously missing his companion.

I cried for LOML who loves all animals.

I cried for myself. I loved that little dog like she was my own.

It was so rare to not see Max and Foxey together. They barked and growled at each other. Max nipped at her. Foxey would bite back. Two seconds later, they would start chasing each other around and then they'd come up on on the porch and lay down next to each other.

They were friends.

And she will be missed.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Taking A Break

2009-07-20T14:56:00.000-05:00

As you may have noticed (or not), I've been "gone" from the blog world recently.

No specific reason. I'm just tired. Work is kicking my ass and I really don't feel like blogging and/or reading blogs. Not that I don't want to know what's going on in your lives, I'm just having so much trouble right now keeping up with my own.

I'll be back soon. Probably reading instead of writing, but I'll be back up to speed soon.

Later,

Mama Dawg

White Sandy Beach

2009-07-08T08:10:00.001-05:00

When I think of Hawaii these days, I think of this man and this song and Psuedo, of course!

Enjoy.

Later,

Wannabe in Hawaii Mama Dawg

For Detroit

2009-07-07T08:34:00.002-05:00

Even if you're not an Eminem fan, this is a great song. Yeah, he still drops "F" bombs, but it's appropriate*.

Later,

Mama Dawg

*it's appropriate to the song for the feelings he has about what Detroit's become, not because it's a horrible place. Just wanted to clarify. He's from Detroit and it's his homeplace. He is trying to honor it in this song, not villify it.

Blah, Blah, Blah...

2009-07-02T08:08:00.005-05:00

...that's how I feel lately.

I'm feeling so disconnected from everyone and everything lately. I'll snap out of it, but still, it's annoying. For you guys AND for me. Well, mostly for me.

---------------

I woke up this morning to a sticky note on my t.v. from LOML. It said:

"Why did the veggie band have to break up?"

"Because it didn't have a beet."

LOL!!!!!!!!

I have no clue when she did it. It had to have been in the middle of the night. Because I turned the t.v. off and went to bed and it wasn't there. When I woke up at 5 this morning, there it was.

She's great. Yet another reason why I love her.

---------------

I had my underwear on inside out all day yesterday. I didn't discover this fact until I had been to the bathroom for the THIRD time. Call me clueless.

---------------

We have two skunks living under our house.

Correction: should have used the word "HAD".

I found their weetle dead bodies in the road yesterday morning on the way to work.

They were babies (or really, really young ones). I'd watch them walk and they tippy toed when they walked. The were sooooooooooooo adorable. I think they were killed by a car when they were trying to cross the highway to get away from the dogs that kept bothering them.

---------------

I don't have to work tomorrow. Whoo Hoo!

---------------

I've been enjoying the warm weather. I've been able to pick enough blackberries on my hill to make about 4 cobblers. And we have enough plums to make about 6 cobblers. I'm gonna be cobblered out this winter.

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I'm weird with my desserts. I like my desserts to go along with my seasons. When it's cold out, I want cobblers and pies and spice cakes.

In the summer, I want Popsicles, ice cream and shakes.

I'll take cupcakes and brownies all year long, though.

---------------

I need more wine.

---------------

I'm so looking forward to July 18th. That's when I and a whole bunch of other people are going to see the new Harry Potter flick at the Prytania Theatre in New Orleans. If you live in NOLA, join us!

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My underwear is on the right way today.

I think.

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I'm back on twitter. Did anyone miss me?

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Max turned 1 on Tuesday. Or at least, that's the day we chose to use as his birthday considering I found him starving to death and had no clue how old he truly was.

We celebrated by giving him a cookie and some chew toys. The fuzzy toy has already been buried God knows where and the rest are all over the yard. He's gotten obsessed with this rope toy that he got. He carries it around in his mouth EVERYWHERE.

---------------

Anyone else watching "America's Got Talent"?

I LOVE that show. I don't like American Idol. Too much singing. I love the different acts.

I still think Eli Mattson from last year got robbed. He was BRILLIANT!!! Not that Neal E. Boyd wasn't, but Eli is incredible.

Sigh........so far I'm liking Kevin Skinner and that young magician. Oh, and the guy that was on last last night. That breakdancing had me jumping up out of my seat.

Updated to add youtube vid of Eli Mattson from last year:

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That's it folks.

Have a great 4th of July!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Reason #286 Why I Love My Daughter

2009-06-29T13:09:00.004-05:00

We had a mini-Indiana Jones movie marathon. I say mini because we only watched Raiders of the Lost Ark and The Temple of Doom.

It was LOML's idea and one that I wholeheartedly got behind.

She loves Indiana Jones so much, that after we watched the Indy show at DHS, she bought an 8 x 10 and a 4 x 6 picture of Indy to frame and hang in her room.

But the real reason I love her love of Indy?

When we got to the part where Indy has found the entrance to the temple to get to the ark, he threw down his torch and right before he said those infamous words, my 9 year old girlie girl hollered out:

"Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?"

My heart burst in pride.

I love you, my Indiana Jones quoting girl.

Love,

Mama

My Heart Is Hurting...

2009-06-26T07:27:00.003-05:00

I don't normally post about when celebrities die or even blog about current events, but I feel like a piece of my childhood died. Despite everything in the past few years, he was an incredible artist.

I wish I still had my red parachute pants, bandana, Thriller shirt and single white glove. I wore the hell out of those when I was 8.

R.I.P, Michael, R.I.P.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Subways, Men on Fire and Games

2009-06-24T07:28:00.012-05:00

On Thursday, June 4th, we met up with my best friend Mimi and her two boys. We headed out to Disney Hollywood Studios (formerly known as MGM Studios) or DHS for short.

I like some of this park, but most of it is just filler or non essential stuff for me. I have my favorite things to do in this park and then I'm done. I prefer Universal Studios for my movie based theme park, thankyouverymuch.

However, the attractions I DO like in DHS are amazing.

On the way to try to find something to do, we ran into a New York city street! Right in the middle of Florida! WTH?

LOML decided to take the subway to Toy Story Mania based on the theory that it would be faster than walking.

For the first time ever, we managed to catch Lights, Motors, Action.

Wow. I can not believe I've never seen this show before. I've caught glimpses of it when doing the Backlot Tour, but I've never actually seen the full show.

Here's a pic of one of the stunt men on fire.

I was so impressed with how long he stayed on fire before they put him out.

I was even more impressed when they showed us all the work that goes into this 30 second fire fest.

Here's two short vids of the stunts they do:

and

We had Fastpasses for Toy Story Mania which is a new show that they opened just this past year.

This is my new favorite ride at DHS. I love it! It's set up like a midway and you get to "shoot" balls and darts and other items at the screen and you rack up points based on how many targets you hit.

Here's a pic of the ceiling of the queue line.

The whole queue is decorated as board games and other childhood games. Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Scrabble, crayones, Monkeys in a Barrel, etc....

It's visually stunning.

Here's the score from the first time I played. I rode with my mom and totally kicked her ass.

I'm player 2.

After we went and drew several times at the Animation Academy, we decided to leave the park for a while to rest. On the way out, we ran across this very, very famous (only in her head) actress.

The Streetmosphere characters are brilliant. They really get you involved in their scenarios. Lots and lots of character interaction at this park.

Later, we headed back to DHS and took a chance to ride Toy Story Mania again. This time, without a Fastpass. The line really wasn't that long. We got on pretty quickly.

Here's the kids playing while in the queue.

LOML and Mimi's two boys got along so beautifully. She really took to her oldest son (who's 11 going on 12). After that first day, they pretty much declared that they're going to ride every ride together. They talked and giggled and played. It was so awesome to watch.

Here's a vide of them playing while in the queue.

And here's the Mr. Potato Head interactive "character". He can "see" people out in the queue and will call out specifically to people. He'll say "Hey, you in the pink shirt with the green stripes" and people are always astonished to hear him speak directly to them. It's cool.

This next time, I rode with Mimi's oldest and managed to beat him. How I beat an 11 year old at an interactive game, I'll never know. I'll chalk it up to luck.

Again, I'm player 2. See how much better I did? LOL!

We finished off the night looking for some hidden Mickey's. We found one, but I don't think it's an official hidden Mickey since it can be found on several manhole covers throughout the park.

It's still neat, though.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-06-22T08:00:00.003-05:00

As promised fellas, I got some ladies up today.

Which leading female action star would you most like to have kick your ass.....and then help you "recover" later?

Angelina Jolie from Tomb Raider, Milla Jovovich from Resident Evil, Uma Thurman from Kill Bill or Jennifer Garner from Elektra?

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Nemo, Bats and Hula Hooping Terks

2009-06-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

On Wednesday, June 3rd, we headed on over to the Animal Kingdom.

Now, a lot of people think the Animal Kingdom is nothing but a glorified zoo.

But they're wrong.

It's, oh, so much more.

We arrived right at 8 a.m. Because we stayed on Disney property, we were allowed on this day to get into the Animal Kingdom an hour before regular opening. This is called Extra Magic Hours (or EMH for short).

This is the best time to start your day off at the Animal Kingdom. It's not too hot yet and the animals, for the most part, are still out and about.

As soon as we could, we made our way over to the Kilimanjaro Safari in Africa.

We LOVE this ride. With the exception of a few animals (elephants, rhinos, crocs, hippos and lions), the animals roam free.

As evidenced below:

Yeah, we actually had to stop to let that giraffe cross the street! If you look closely, you can see that another one is right in front of him.

So many jokes starting with "why did the giraffe cross the road?" started rolling through my head.

However, before I emabarrassed myself and my child (mom doesn't embarrass easily), I got distracted by the next photo around the curve:

That's a Thompson's gazelle at the base of the tree.

Next up was the white rhino. These beasts are simply incredible. Their sheer size is enough to make me swallow hard when thinking about being in the middle of a stampede.

Don't ask me what this is. It's just cool.

After we left the safari, we walked around just a minute until we could go get in line for the Nemo show.

This is a new show that started in the past couple of years and I've read rave reviews of it online. We ADORE the Festival of the Lion King show that's located in Camp Minnie Mickey, so we figured to try this one out.

While mom and LOML got in line, I ran over to Dinosaur to get some Fastpasses to use after the show.

I'll save you the time of a full fledged review and will instead tell you simply that it sucked. It was not a ride that we'll ever repeat.

It's rare when I dislike a ride at Disney but this one was just not any good. Sorry for any fans out there.

However, on one part of the ride, they take your pic for you to potentially purchase when you get off the ride. They always take it at a critical part of the ride so they get the best reactions.

When we got off the ride, we almost decided to walk past the picture stand but ducked in just in case.

So glad we did. As much as we disliked the ride, we got the best picture EVER! I think it's the best reaction picture that Disney's ever had.

Take a look and let me know what you think. Mom, LOML and I are on the back row. But make sure you look at the other faces as well.

We weren't allowed to take flash photography in the show at Nemo, but as long as there weren't any lights to disturb the actors, we could videotape.

The show is made up of live actors and giagantic puppets.

I know, I know. Puppets.

But......it was a great show. I had a hard time at first getting adjusted. I kept wanting to watch the actors move around instead of watching the puppets. I finally got in the hang of it around the middle and regret not going back to watch it again.

Here's two short vids of the show:

and

At that point, we headed to lunch and ate from the Flame Tree BBQ.

Oh my stars in heaven. Outside of Memphis and other places in the deep south, this has to be the most delicious BBQ I've ever had.

There were two kinds of sauces and onion rings and orange Fanta and just grease and salt and yumminess all around.

If you go, I highly recommend eating here. It's counter service, so it's quick.

We headed on over to Asia after LOML got run ragged at the Boneyard. I wanted to ride Expedition Everest since I've not ridden it before. Mom and LOML passed on the ride. I thought I had remembered that they had a single rider line that went quicker than the regular line and I was right. The wait time was only about 20 minutes in the single rider line so I baaaa'd like a sheep and fell in line.

Oh My God!

This is my new favorite thrill ride.

For real.

And the best part?

The people in the seat in front of me had an extra Fastpass that was about to expire and they just GAVE IT TO ME!

I got to ride twice in a row! Yay me!

Here's a pic of the temple that's on the path up to Everest. See how it matches the mountain perfectly? A good example of the genius that is Disney.

After Everest, we headed on over to Kali River Rapids but the line was way too long and there were no more Fastpasses so we headed on over to the Maharajah Jungle Trek and saw the creatures that lived there.

My second favorite part of the Trek is the bats.

I love bats. I didn't much like 'em before I saw them in this environment and read about them. I fell in love with this exhibit about 4 years ago.

Here's a vid of a bat. It looks like he's trying to cool himself off:

Here's my favorite part of the Trek.

The tigers.

There's no cage separating you from the tigers. You're just up really, really high and behind bars. Otherwise, they're RIGHT THERE!

I used my zoom and got this shot of him (her?) pacing the fountain.

Here's a vid of them pacing:

And here's a vid of them play pouncing. I've never seen them so playful!

Here's LOML standing in front of a tree while on the Trek. Doesn't she look cool?

Here's a mama and a baby tiger in the wading pool area.

LOML took this pic using the zoom on my camera. Pretty good shot, dontcha think?

We headed back to Africa to shop and ran into these guys performing.

Here's a vid to hear what they sound like:

We decided to head on out at that point to relax before heading on over to Disney Hollywood Studios for dinner at the Brown Derby.

As we were leaving, we ran into a hula hoop play area. While LOML was hula hooping, who should appear but Terk!

He decided to get in on the game.

LOML was running rings (no pun intended) around him.

Here they are in competition. You can see how bad LOML is kicking his ass!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Tea Cups, Flying Carpets and Race Cars

2009-06-17T12:51:00.022-05:00

On Tuesday, June 2, we headed to the most magical lands of all......The Magic Kingdom.

Hands down, this is my favorite park EVER! Epcot is right behind, but nothing beats walking on Main Street and seeing the castle for the first, 25th or 300th time. Each time it takes my breath away.

When you arrive before the park opens, they have an opening ceremony where they invite one family to help open the parks. Characters come out, there's some singing and dancing and then some confetti and glitter.

What a way to open the park!

Here's all the characters lined up.

And here's a short vid of the ceremony.

Once we got on Main Street, we were going to head out straight towards Tomorrowland but got derailed by the sight of Mary Poppins.

She made some witty conversation with LOML. LOML had been eating some sort of blue candy and had some blue-ish teeth as a result. Mary asked if she had been eating blue cupcakes that morning.

We made a break for Tomorrowland but decided about half way there to just go straight to Fantasyland to ride the Mad Tea Cups. This has been declared our favorite family ride.

While in line, we noticed the White Rabbit himself riding in the tea cups. I've never seen this before and was thrilled to see it. I was disappointed that we weren't the ones to ride with him, but the sight of those little girls faces when they got off put a HUGE smile on my face.

I LOVE capturing LOML's face when she's riding this ride. Usually she's laughing so hard, but in this one, she's actually the one doing the "steering". She was working so hard to get it to go as fast as possible. Good thing mom and I don't easily get motion sick! She was working it!

After we got off the ride, we saw that the White Rabbit was granting autographs and pictures. Of course, we hurriedly got in line. Next to Alice and the Cheshire Cat, he's my favorite Alice character. I couldn't resist a pic.

Yeah, yeah. Make fun of my fanny pack all you like. It saved my back and wasn't a pain to mess with. I don't care if I did look like a dork with all that crap hanging off of it. I rarely had to take it off or search for stuff.

We rode a couple of more rides in Fantasyland before heading over to Adventureland. This is my favorite land in the whole park. It has Pirates of the Carribean, The Swiss Family Treehouse AND The Jungle Cruise.

Here's a short vid of our skipper on our boat.

The jokes never get old.

And here's a picture of the famous landmark......THE BACK SIDE OF WATER!!!!! (if you're a Jungle Cruise fan or have ever ridden it, you'll get this joke)

At some point, we found ourselves in Frontierland and had just sat down to take a break when these guys showed up and started singing. Not too many people stopped to listen to them, so when mom started doing her trill and clapping loudly, they took notice and had some fun with us. I love getting special attention in the parks.

After Frontierland, we decided to head back to the hotel to get some rest. When we arrived back later in the day, we decided to take the Walt Disney World Railroad over to Toontown.

When I got up on top of the train station, I took this shot of the castle.

And then I looked to my right and took a shot of my old stomping grounds, Tony's Town Square Restaurant. I miss working there.

Here's a shot of LOML waiting for the train. She purchased these Minnie ears herself. She decided on these instead of a Mickey ears hat.

When we arrived in Toontown, we toured Mickey's house and I discovered a Hidden Mickey I had never seen before.

Do you see it?

We left Mickey's and headed for Minnie's Country House. I could take or leave Toontown, but LOML loves going here, so we do.

Here's LOML on Minnie's back porch.

Who's this lady doing a puzzle in Disney World?

Why.....it's my mom!

We left Toontown after riding the Barnstormer and headed to Fantasyland to ride Mickey's Philharmagic. On the way, LOML spotted the Winnie the Pooh ride and asked if we could ride it. Mom had never ridden it before so off we headed. We wanted to eat dinner first, so we grabbed some Fastpasses to come back later and lo and behold, we got an extra surprise! We got special Fastpasses for Mickey's Philharmagic! SCORE!!!

After we rode/saw those two, we headed back to Tomorrowland to grab a quick ride on the Speedway. The line surprisingly wasn't that long and we were able to get on after a 15 minute wait. While in line, I had LOML hold up a sign for my girl Jess!

Hi, Jess!

Here's LOML checking out the mechanics of the car. She decided against accelerating and just wanted to steer.

Big mistake. LOL!

We then backtracked back to Fantasyland to catch the carrousel. I love this ride. It's over way too quick though.

We headed back to Adventureland to end out the evening and grabbed a quick ride on Aladdin's Magic Carpets.

LOML sat in front and when I asked her to look back, this is the look she gave me.

I'm in trouble when she gets older, arent' I? LOL!

If she keeps those kinds of looks up, I'm gonna need to get me a pellet gun to ward off all the boys.

Mom took this pic when I wasn't looking. I think it sums up our day quite nicely, don't you?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Princesses, Trolls and Sharks, Oh, My!

2009-06-16T05:00:00.002-05:00

Our first day in the parks was on Monday, June 1. The day before was the last day of Epcot's Flower and Garden Festival. We usually go during this time, but we scheduled our vacation for the week after it ended. In some ways, I'm glad we did that. I think it was not quite as crowded but on the other hand, I sure do miss the topiaries and Minnie's Butterfly garden.

I love Spaceship Earth (or the giant golf ball as LOML calls it). Look at that blue, blue sky. So gorgeous. The sky is one of the many things I miss about Florida.

Well, lookee here. We got lucky and were able to still enjoy the topiaries that Epcot puts on display during the festival. I think they're a mad genius when it comes to their Festivals.

These are the dancing ostriches from Fantasia.

We had 8:05 a.m. ADR (advanced dining reservations) for the Princess Breakfast in Askershus in Norway. The countries are located in World Showcase or the back half of the park. This is our third year to do this breakfast and as much as I'd love to not do it anymore (the expense and the fact that I'm not a HUGE fan of the princesses), I will continue to do it as long as LOML does.

And no, I'm not saying that to be nice. I'm saying that because the food in Norway ROCKS. They serve you a traditional family style breakfast at your table (large plate consisting of eggs, sausage, cheesy hashbrowns and bacon) and it's fine and all, but the buffet? TO DIE FOR!

Raspberries and blackberries as large as your thumb, smoked salmon, capers, dill cream cheese spread, lingonberry jam, biscuits, authentic Norweigan fish dishes (lots of salmon). Yummy, yummy, yummy. I could eat there all day long. I ate my weight in smoked salmon.

While you're eating, the princesses come to your table and take a few minutes with each kid. They sign autograph books, make conversation and take pictures.

The past two years, Snow White was kind of bitchy. This year, she was so sweet.

But Ariel? She was nice, but all of us left convinced she was a dude. Even LOML commented on how her hands were HUGE!

Here's a view across the water over at Japan. I snapped this as we were leaving. Since we were done with breakfast after 9 and World Showcase doesn't open until 11, we headed back to Future World to ride Soarin' and do The Land and The Seas with Nemo and Friends.

On the way back to Future World, LOML and I about died with excitement. See what she's pointing at? Yeah, that's a chocolate dipped frozen banana. Heaven in your mouth. We could not WAIT to get one!

Here's LOML inside Bruce's mouth. As much as I love Disney movies and all that, I'm a little disappointed that they Disneyfied some of the attractions. I loved the Living Seas just as it was before Nemo and friends took over.

While at the Seas, they have these interactive sections and some living sections.

By living, I mean they're like mini aquariums.

I could literally spend hours and hours just watching all the sea creatures.

I loved watching this little guy get his food. He was such a social outcast with everyone! LOL!

And I've never really seen starfish move before. It was kind of neat to watch them navigate the bottom of the tank.

After we were done with a couple of the lands in Future World, we decided to head back to World Showcase. I love World Showcase. I love the food and the shopping.

I had heard about this new interactive "game" that guests could play that took you all over one of the countries using a cell phone to give you clues. It was hosted by Kim Possible and you had to go and obtain clues to help KP save the world.

It was so much fun. We got our cell phone in Norway and ended up having to save Norway. You don't always end up saving the country you got your phone in, however.

It's also a bit educational, but not overboard. You had to go into the Stave church at one point and learn about the length of a certain Viking ship. They also had it set up to where when you went to a certain spot, they took your picture and then sent it to you via the phone! There were all sorts of places in the countries where when you pressed ok on the phone, something "magical" would happen. They also have these drop off boxes disguised as relics where you could deposit your phone once you were done with the game.

LOML had a blast. So did I. If you're making a trip anytime soon, I highly recommend this. It takes about 30 minutes to complete.

Here's LOML with her phone.

Next, we headed back to Mexico and rode the ride and shopped for a bit.

After Mexico, we went back to Norway (in the layout, Mexico comes first, followed by Norway, but since we had only done breakfast and the Kim Possible thing in Norway, we still wanted to do the ride and shop and eat...again.).

We ate lunch at Norway and had the most delicious sandwich EVER. It was thin sliced ham piled on thick with sliced green apples and either havarti or grueyere cheese melted on top. It was all between two thick slices of some sort of multigrain bread. OMG! We're gonna try to reproduce it at home.

Here's mom shaking the trolls hand. Look how HUGE that hand is. The trolls hand is HUGE, too. LOL! Just kidding, mom. Mom's actually a tiny person. All 4'11" of her.

Next was China where LOML ate her lunch of pot stickers. She LOVES pot stickers and especially the ones at China.

We shopped for a bit and then as we were on our way out of China, we saw the set up for the Chinese gymnast and stopped to watch them.

They are so frickin' impressive.

Here's the guy tossing some bowls on top of his head.

And here he is tossing a SPOON in the top bowl!

I dare anyone to try that at home.

Wait, maybe not.

Next on our stop was Germany. We just ducked in and contemplated some brats and kraut, but decided against it this time.

On to Italy!

I love the World Showcase players. They are usually incredibly hilarious. They get people from the crowd to come assist and be part of the performance, so it literally changes from show to show depending on the cooperation of the guests.

This one was in Italy and the show was Romeo and Edna. Below is a clip.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Lady and the Tramp and was so thrilled to see their topiaries up! They are made up ENTIRELY of plants.

Next stop, the American Adventure.

Well, we actually didn't stop there. I'm not really into the American Pavilion. I don't care for the show that much and the time period in which the pavillin is set is not appealing to me. Call me unpatriotic, but I don't care. The info is stuff that was pounded in my head over and over and over again in school that it ruined me forever on getting any kind of enjoyment out of this Pavilion.

After that, Japan. I love shopping in Japan. LOML's feet were tired so we took about an hour break in Japan just watching the drummers and taking turns shopping.

Next is my favorite country (or one of them). Morocco!

I LOVE the shopping Morocco. It's so exotic and mysterious.

LOML discovered these hats. I told her that if we still had some money left over at the end of the trip, I'd get her one.

Here she is in the back part of Morocco. I love all the tile work.

I've always heard about Mo Rockin', but had never heard them play. They are an incredible group that blends traditional Moroccon music with more modern sounds.

Of course, it doesn't hurt to have a genuine belly dancer there to draw in the (mostly male) crowd!

We made our way to France where we wanted to end the night. We still had the UK and Canada left to do, but we decided to call it a night and head back to the hotel for some much needed rest.

Before we left though, LOML wanted to take a pic of the treat we all shared from the French bakery.

YUM!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-06-15T07:32:00.002-05:00

Yeah, babies, I'm back. Fo' sho'.

I know, I know. I should quit talking like a wanna be gangsta. Gimme a break. I almost died in a Wal-Mart while holding a DVD of "Edward Scissorhands" on Friday. I had to go to Wal-Mart to pick up some prints and got caught in the middle of a tornado warning. They actually got on the intercom and told all guests and employees to get in the middle of the store. All I kept thinking was "I don't wanna die in a Wal-Mart in Mississippi while holding a weird Johnny Depp movie!" After about 10 minutes, it was downgraded to a thunderstorm warning and I was able to leave.

Anyhoo, since I left the book at home, I'm winging it today.

In honor of my recent Disney trip, it's a Disney version of "Who Would You Do?".

If you had to get stuck on "it's a small world" with one of the below hotties, which one would you not mind ducking behind the Taj Mahal with until the ride started back up: Billy Campbell from "The Rocketeer", Shia LeBeouf from "Holes", Ben Barnes from "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" or my perennial fave, Johnny Depp from "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl"?

And men, no worries. Next week......all women choices!

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

And how was your weekend? Any near death experiences?

Later,

Mama Dawg

We're Off To See The Wizard...

2009-06-12T07:26:00.008-05:00

...or, more accurately, Sorcerer Mickey!

We left at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. We were smart and had packed the car to the gills on Saturday night. Mom and LOML were in bed by like 9 and I didn't crawl/collapse until around 11 but that was o.k. since mom was taking the first leg of the trip.

The morning ride was uneventful and we arrived in Alabama for breakfast.

We decided to stop at a local watering hole. I could have sworn I had heard of the Waffle House before but the locals insisted that it was the only one on earth.

Then again, these were the locals I talked to and I don't believe they have been anywhere other than the farm. Eh, whatcha gonna do? Can't talk to a stubborn ass now can you?

Seriously, if you ever wondered how the Waffle House was able to sell their steaks so cheaply, I got a glimmer of an idea how.

You're probably wondering exactly WHY I took pictures of livestock while in Alabama at a Waffle House? No? Well, I'll tell you anyway. It's because they were there. I mean, rightthere up against the fence. It was awesome!

A gazillion hours later, we arrived at Mecca (or as the locals call it, their money maker). This is probably one of my most favorite sights on earth EVER!

We have a tradition on our first night and it includes ordering pizza to our room and drinking it down with orange Fanta. We did that the first two trips, so now it's a tradition. I was dreading getting the pizza because the last two trips it was just blah, but they must have changed up the pizza because this time, it was much better. I actually enjoyed it.

Yeah, those are bing cherries. We always bring food from home. We love our fruit and would rather bring it than pay for it.

Here's LOML chillaxin' and eating her pizza. I love how she's the one to chill out and watch t.v. while mom and I are checking in, unloading the car, ordering pizza, unpacking, etc.......Ah, to be a kid again!

Here's our view. I love Pop Century. The ambiance is so family friendly and just completely awesome. We were lucky enough to be in the 60's building at the back. It was so quiet. It was a long walk, but the quiet more than made up for it.

LOML decided she wanted to swim after eating so I let her get in her suit and jump in the pool. We stayed for about half an hour or so.

Here's a vid of her doing a flip. She's so proud!

That was our first day of our vacation. I'll post more soon!

Later,

Mama Dawg

I'm Back

2009-06-10T07:21:00.002-05:00

I'm back. I'm exhausted (I need a vacation from my vacation), I'm NOT sunburned, I DID NOT gain any weight (despite the monstrous amounts of food I consumed) and I'm totally, totally, totally in love with Disney World even more than ever.

I am completely overwhelmed at work right now but I'll be back to posting soon.

Oddly enough, I didn't take that many pics this time. I took lots of vids but I was having too much fun to take pics this time.

I want to thank every single one of my guest bloggers. They all rock for doing this for me and I love you all for it.

Sassy, I don't know what the hell happened with your post. I did that preview before I pre-posted and it looked fine. The final result came out all screwed up and I don't know how that happened. I do apologize. Next time I'll give you the keys to the Dawg house and you can clean up my mess. LOL!

I'll post soon.

I missed you all! Well, not really, but that's because I was having too much fun!

Later,

Mama Dawg

A Tale of Betrayal

2009-06-09T06:00:00.001-05:00

Kat, from over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow, graciously let me let her guest post over here. I like to think that Kat adds a touch of class over here at my place. That is until Jess, Kat and I get to talking about all the kinds of red we're going to paint Savannah when we all get together (when is that Kat?) at some point in the future. Below is a perfect example of the awesomeness that IS Kat.

Hi everyone. It's me, Kat from over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow. Wow, I feel like I just introduced myself at an AA meeting. Not that Mama Dawgs place is anything like an AA meeting or anything...anyhooo. (Geez I better shut up before Mama Dawg kicks my ass). Ok for those who don't know me, I an American living in England. My husband is in the Air Force and I have two little girls; LaLa is 5 and KiKi is about to turn 3. Pay attention you will need this information later. We have lived here in England since November. While we love it here there are a few things that we really do miss from back home. This is a tale about one of those things.

The village that my family and I live in is really small. I literally could walk around the the outside of the village and it would take about 40 minutes. It is small. In the village we have a convenience store, a news stand (which is also a post office), a dog groomer, a kabob shop and...oh there is a used car place. That is about it. Needless to say, moving from the States there are a few things that we don't get to enjoy very often. The other day my husband committed a huge sin. HUGE. On a scale of 1-10 this was a big fat 10.

See he ended up running to a town (Bury) that is about 30 min away to visit a music store. It is a fairly large town, actually it is more of a city. It has several shopping areas, a cinema, and the holy grail of all that is American- A McDonald's. Yes, a Mickie D's people! Now before we moved here, my family at McDonald's a lot. And by a lot I mean, at least once a week. Call me lazy, but I don't like to cook every single night. Plus, my kids love it, so it was a win win situation for me at the time. Since we have been here, my kids have ate at McDonald's twice. Once when we were in London with my parents in February. Once when we were in Cambridge in early February. It has been a while.

Now while up in Bury, my husband decides he is gonna pop into McDonald's since it is lunch time. Not a big deal in his estimation. It had been a while since he had enjoyed Ronald's artery clogging goodness and figured he was due a double cheeseburger ketchup only. Now here is his mistake. He took the order to go. He ate in the car and then left evidence of his betrayal. Now he had no clue of his betrayal. As far as he was concerned he had just ate lunch. No biggie.

Skip forward to 3:35 pm when my oldest daughter LaLa gets out of school. The FIRST thing she sees is a fast food bag with the golden arches emblazoned upon it. "You ate McDonald's?!!!" she wailed? "No, I didn't have McDonald's, your dad did. "But why didn't he take me?????" She was spiraling. "Hunny I am sure he would be more than happy to take you for lunch at McDonald's this weekend," I tried reasoning. She continued wailing and pouting for the next five minutes on the way home. Nothing I could say would calm her down. As she walked into the house she made a bee line for the living room where my unsuspecting husband was sitting.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?!?!" She stood there in front of him crumpled a little at the waist with huge crocodile tears in her eyes. "Why didn't you let me eat McDonald's?"

My husband sat there stunned. Then looked at me for help. I stifled my laughter (cause seriously y'all it was funny) and left the room. Then eavesdropped from the foyer.

"Baby, we can go eat at McDonald's on Saturday," he tried to reason with her.

"But I want it now!" she continued to cry. She then crumpled up fully in a ball and wept.

It took cajoling and promises of treats to come to finally pacify the child. She was utterly heartbroken.

The lesson we all learned? If you are going to eat McDonald's....hide the damn bag!

Soulmates and Sasuage

2009-06-08T06:00:00.001-05:00

Wow, oh, wow, oh, wow. I actually got the Steenkers herself to guest blog over here in my teeny tiny corner of the bloggieverse. We have this HUGE rivalry going on for the bloggie affections of Captain Dumbass (whom you read a few posts back). I secretly think I'm in the lead because of my accent, but I can feel her breathing down my neck (hold off on the onions next time you eat that sammich, Steenkers). Before I embarrass either of us a bit more, I give you Jen over at Steenky Bee.

For some reason, Mama Dawg, (old favorite) and Jess over at This Life is Mine (one of my new favorites) were under the assumption that I would be guest posting today about a stripper on a mechanical bull. I guess they assumed so because I sent them an email stating that I would be posting about a stripper on a mechanical bull.

Well, I thought long and hard about following through on my promise, but decided that in order to give this topic the sort of post it really deserved, I needed to do a little more research. You now all know exactly how I will be spending my Friday nights.

Annnnnnyway….

I believe in soulmates, do you? If you don’t you should. To prove my point, I have thoughtfully assembled two case studies for your consideration:

Case in Point #1: My Childrens’ Pediatrician, Dr. Black and his wife

A few years ago, I was searching for a physical therapist on my health provider’s web page. After identifying several therapists and reading through their online bios that not only listed their accreditations and experience but also random information about personal interests and hobbies, I thought it might be fun to see what our Pediatrician, Dr. Black had on his page.

Oh. My. Hell. It was a treat.

In an instant, I knew exactly when and where Dr. Black attended medical school and where he completed his residency. I had before me, a laundry list of medical seminars and conferences he had attended over the past 15 years. Exactly how much does one learn from a Pediatric Medicine Review held in Barbados?

But that’s not the treat part. Not at all. What I discovered about Dr. Black’s personal life had me so riveted that I could not tear myself away from his online bio for hours. Now, let me preface this by saying that, of course, I didn’t find anything the least bit illicit or even a tad risqué about the good doctor, nor did I expect to. I’m just one of those people that are easily entertained by online personal hobby lists or Youtube videos of people on getting hit in the chach.

It seems when Dr. Black isn’t in the office he is exploring his love of world sausages, with a particular interest in Ethiopian meats. These are words I thought I’d never see arranged this way in a sentence. His bio even mentions how he met his wife while touring a world-famous sausage plant in Berlin. It was shortly after this chance meeting that they discovered a shared fondness for Italian bread making, tandem bicycling and bird watching. Also unbeknownst to them at the time, prior to meeting one another, they had each volunteered for the Peace Corps and each had served as equipment handlers/operators on separate legs of a Paul Simon tour across the US.

Can you believe this? I TOTALLY CAN. I imagine both of them on that fated factory tour in Germany so many years ago. For a good portion of the tour, they have been giving each other sideways glances. Perhaps the strapping medical student on holiday in Europe even tries to make small talk with his future wife by cracking a sausage joke. It could happen. I bet Dr. Black has an arsenal of sausage jokes.

Suddenly there’s a chance encounter at the Bratworst tasting station. Their hands accidentally touch as they both reach for the same sample of meat on a stick. More heated glances are exchanged between the two until Future Mrs. Dr. Black casually mentions she’s late for an Italian Bread Festival where Paul Simon is scheduled to perform. She has to quickly be on her way if she’s going to make the first set because, as fate would have it, she has no partner to help pedal her bicycle built for two. Cue swelling, romantic music now!

If meeting at a sausage factory isn’t destiny folks, then I don’t know what is.

Oh, you should all know too, that when I see Dr. Black for a well-baby visits and whatnot, I try to work in key word phrases like, “Thanks for squeezing us in, Dr. Black. I’m off to find myself a nice Toscana loaf!” just to see if he has any reaction to me whatsoever.

Okay, I’m not really that obvious, but I have dropped subtle hints about how much better Paul Simon is sounding without that fuzzy Garfunkle harshing his sound. Our doctor is probably confused as to why I’m obsessed with the infamous 60’s duo.

Case in Point #2: Sigfried & Roy

Aw, come on. Two lion tamers? From Germany? With a penchant for magic and dressing like Liberace? Definitely soulmates.

I Drive Like A Cullen

2009-06-05T06:00:00.001-05:00

I heart today's guest blogger. For real. She's one of my peeps. I totally get to met her in October in New Orleans. By that time, hopefully, Jess (mentioned below and in various other guest posts of mine) and I will have met and painted New Orleans a particularly shiny shade of red. Without further adieu, here's Sassy from Our Piece of Quiet.

Yo yo Dawg followers! It's Sassy in da house. Friday Funday! You know what that means: I'm all dolled up in my drinking hat, ready to hook up with Jess and the gang. She tore it up over here last time and I thought I would do my part to help rip it up in here a lil while Mama Dawg is away. Gotta give her something to look forward to. Can't have her deciding to shack up with the Seven Dwarfs and never come back.

First off, let me say what an honor it is to be asked by the big Dawg to guest post for her while she is off rubbing Goofy in an inappropriate manner.

MD, sure hope you get a good pic of the surprise on his face. Maybe the good peeps at Disney will use it for their website.

In an effort to do my part for the whole "green" movement, I give you this vintage post, coming at you all the way from 10/09/08.

The situation went down something like this:

Sweetie: Sassy, can you drive me to the cancer center that I need to be at in about one hour?

Sassy: Ok, Sweetie, I will drive you to the cancer center for your appointment, although you initially planned to go all by your big boy self, Trouble is not in school today and I have a bazillion items on my "things that should have been done yesterday" list. I mean, my Suburban can practically make the hour and a half drive itself, having made that journey so many times. So, no biggie. Let's roll.

(about 45 minutes into the hour and a half drive, as Trouble is sleeping in the back of the Suburban, Sweetie and Sassy, pressed for time, toss the trash from the tea and Chick-fil-a strips they finished wolfing down into the back seat)

Sassy: driving "with the flow of traffic", left hand "fast" lane, minding her own business Wow, look at that concrete overpass up ahead. It is really tall.

Sweetie: just as Sassy's suburban descends down the far side of the concrete overpass Wow, look. The Houston Police Department. Parked right there, just on the other side of this concrete hill. How nice that they are out on such a bright and sunny day to protect the citizens of this city.

*lights*sirens*cop motioning out of his window to Sassy to pull over to the barely there left emergency lane of the freeway*

Cop: Hello there, young, beautiful, sassy woman. You have gorgeous shiny hair. And the bluest of eyes. And...are those TRUE RELIGIONS you are wearing? Do you know what the speed limit along this boring stretch of highway is?

Sassy: Squuuueeeal. I love games! Let me take a guess...ummmm, I'll go with 65!

Cop: Good guess, and thank you for playing, but the answer is actually a cool, slow crawl of 60. Well, that is, from there, (he points) just at the top of that lovely concrete hill behind us. On the other side of that (he points again) concrete hill behind us, the speed limit is 65. May I be so fortunate to have a look at your picture, preferably in driver's license form?

Sassy: Sure! You are going to LOVE this picture. digging and digging, and digging some more through her handbag Although, it is not as great as it could have been. See, I really wanted to make a silly face, you know, like with my eyes crossed and my tongue sticking out of the corner of my mouth. That way, whenever I visited with you strapping young police officers, you would get a chuckle out of my picture and not DARE feel the need to give me a violation. Wouldn't that have been a total hoot!?! But, alas, the old hag behind the counter at the DMV said Austin has no sense of humor and wouldn't process such hysterical pictures. Then she said to just try my best to stand still while looking pretty.

Cop: (walking all bow legged to his cruiser then back to Sassy's 'burb) Mrs. Pants, would you please be so kind as to give me your autograph? Right here, on this nifty little machine that I use to collect "autographs"?

Sassy: Well, sure! I'm always kind to my peeps! Be sure to drop some comment love when you visit my blog!

Moral of the story...when driving 74 mph in a 60mph zone,

a) watch for speed traps

b) don't drive in the left hand "fast" lane...they'll get ya every time.

So, who wants to take defensive driving for me? Oh, nevermind, I've done it so many times I can do it tonight while I sleep.

Who's Cool Now?

2009-06-04T06:00:00.001-05:00

This guest post was brought to you by LOML's Hawaii BFF (or Pseudo for those of you in the know) over at a blog known as Pseudonymous High School Teacher. I'd love to really, really, really dislike her based on the fact that she lives in Hawaii, but I can't. She's too awesome for that. So, sit back, sip a Mai Tai and enjoy her post. Oh, and don't worry, Pseudo, Max will come back, I promise. Especially if you promise to rub his belly and give him cookies out of the snack bucket.

What was Mama Dog thinking?? Asking me to guest post. I barely know what I’m doing over at my own place. But I am LOML’s BFF in Hawaii. Well, I am probably the only person she knows in Hawaii, but I’ll still take the honor.

I love being an Auntie.

You can spoil the holy crap out of the kid and then give the kid back to the parent when things go south. But Mama took LOML with her, so I guess I’ll go play with Max. He is really cute.

OK. I’m back. I think I lost Max, but he’ll probably wander back soon…

You are probably wondering WTF Mama was thinking asking me to guest blog, so I better get on it.

In honor of LOML, this post is on being an auntie.

My first experience of being an auntie I was only 16 years old. My sister is four years older than me and she had my nephew when she was 20. I loved that kid (still do) like nobody’s business and wanted so much to be the “cool aunt.”

When he was six I took him to Disneyland. Just the two of us. He wanted to ride nothing but the Autopia. Being cool, I did what I thought no parent would do. I rode the Autopia 45 times in a row. The last 35 times were his “just one more time PLEASE times.”

Finally I said, “Enough. I need to show you what fun really is.”

But he screamed his bloody head off in all the storybook rides. During Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride I thought he would claw his way under my skin.

He refused to ride anything resembling a roller coaster. Absofuckinglutely refused. What kind of kid was this?

I distracted him in Frontier Land with the shooting galleries. He was all boy there. He wanted me to buy him one of those wooden rifles.

I bribed him. Told him I would buy him one if he would go on a ride of my choosing, meaning something fast and fun.

He agreed thinking I would not hold him to it.

In my defense I did not pick the Matterhorn or Space Mountain (my two favorite rides). I selected Rolling Thunder Mountain.

While we moved up in line he asked me 167 times, “You’re not REALLY going to make me get on this if I tell you I’m too scared? Right?”

Who did he think he was dealing with? Of course I did. In my roller coaster loving mind I just knew once he had a taste he would be crying MORE! MORE! MORE ROLLER COASTERS PLEASE AUNTIE!

I was so wrong.

But at least he did not throw up on me.

I also took the kid skiing one winter and paid for his lesson. I laughed so hard I peed my snow suit when he could not snow plow and slammed into the back of the knees of a huge, overweight man and sent that man smack into the First Aid Shack.

Another time I took him to the Miniature Golf Castle and let him play video games after golf and eat so much junk food that the next day my sister took him to urgent care with a stomach ache that turned out to be him being constipated.

There was the time I took him out for dinner and we ate in the bar because I had a crush on the drummer of the band that was playing there. For years the kid thought he went to a rock concert.

One of the coolest things I did was take him to a Friday night shooting of Happy Days. I had a slutty friend who was dating Ralph Mouth and we could get in any Friday we wanted. My nephew got to hang out on the stage afterwards and meet all the cast.

And the topper. When he was 12 I talked everyone in the family into pitching in for a plane ticket for him to come to Hawaii and visit me. I was 28 and cocktailing my way through college. Mr. Pseudo and I had recently moved in together and were living in sin. What a wonderful collision of worlds that was. We took him to Chinatown and let him buy all kinds of illegal martial arts crap. In my defense we called his parents and his dad said it was OK, only that the kid could not mess with (touch) the stuff until he got home and was with his dad. I thought I had packed the weapons away but when we took him sightseeing he magically had a flying star of some kind… Let’s just say I momentarily lost my cool. And we all almost got arrested.

Fast forward 20 years and it is me and my family visiting him in LA. He’s a thirty something year old hipster and has a job where he works with a lot of rich and famous people and my kids think he is the coolest relative on the family food chain.

He takes us to a store where all the hipsters shop. The kind of store the paparazzi hang out in front of when celebrities are inside. The first thing I do is embarrass him by busting out my camera and taking a picture of my kids trying on shoes in the store. The security guard came up and told me no cameras or pictures or they would ask me to leave. My nephew pretended not to know me and ditched me for the opposite side of the store. But I followed him, because that is what irritating, visiting, embarrassing relatives do.

He headed into the half of the store that features jeans. Not the Old Navy curvy hips and thighs jeans his middle age auntie that used to be hot wears. Designer jeans. Hipster jeans. Jeans STARTING at $200.

So I browse. My first order of business was to see just how expensive these jeans could be. The answer, according to my perusing, is $598. Imagine that.

Next, I decide that for $200-$600 they must all be magic jeans. Therefore I must try some on.

But how to choose?

I’m trying to select a few pair when an adorable young sales girl that has the body of a 12 year old who has not started puberty comes up and asks if I need help. Indeed I do.

I’d like to try on some of your jeans. Cost is no option.

(I do not mention that this is because I will not actually buy anything I try on).

What brands and styles would best suit my body type?

The sweet young thing furrows her brow and carefully picks out three pair.

These would all be good choices. The waistband is a little higher than the really low ones, and the way the material doubles up it will hold you in and help camouflage your muffin top.

Yes she did.

My nephew was a couple aisles away. I don’t think he heard her. I wouldn’t want him to know his cool auntie is not so cool anymore. She is a muffin top laden middle age hunk of lump.

How Big Is It?

2009-06-03T06:00:00.001-05:00

When I first got Captain Dumbass's guest post and saw these words in it, I thought for a second...."oh, no, I'm not really THAT kind of blog". Because you see, he's been threatening forEVER to show me how big it really is. You can see where I'd be worried. Because, really, who wants to see his big BICYCLE? Not me, that's who. When I actually took the time to finish reading the post, I wiped my brow with relief and then started thinking about how long it would take me to build a polar bear pen. I think with my neighbor's help, we can turn the silo down the road into a pen. Yeah, that'd do it. For your entertainment pleasure, I present Captain Dumbass (or as my daughter likes to call him "Captain Dumb-you-know-what") of Us & Them.

Here I am in the South and my two favourite Southern Belles aren't even here. Just my luck. Oh well, I hope they're having fun in Disneyland. Disneyworld? Probably Disneyworld. Whatever, I didn't get to go. But, Mama Dawg did ask if I'd guest post and that was a long (as in plenty of time to do this and why leave it 'til the last minute) time ago so it's time to shake the coconut and see what comes out.

Mmmm... ya, nothing. That's usually what happens when I have to guest post. It's the pressure of having to come up with something entertaining on somebody else's blog. Performance anxiety. What? Hmm... well, I guess I should thank her for the gift she sent me and my boys. Hersey's Chocolate Peanut Butter topping for ice cream. Yum! It's awesome on ice cream. Or if you pour it straight in your mouth because you don't have any ice cream in the house and can't wait until you do. At least that's what I heard...

I jokingly told Mama Dawg that I'd send her a polar bear or a baby seal in return, but she thought the polar bear would be a great idea. Sigh. Well, I did say I'd do it. I wanted to make sure she understood what she was getting though. Sure they're soft and pretty, but this isn't Jessie the squirrel we're talking about. I told her how much they weigh and how big they get, but most people can't visualize something like that without a picture. Lucky for me I found a book at the library that combines pictures to give you perspective on things. It's called "How Big Is It?". Anyway, here's what an adult polar bear looks like beside some very tall humans.

That's 3.7 metres or twelve feet of polar bear standing on his hind legs. I don't know how big your doors are, MD, but I think he'll have to stay outside. They average between 800 to 1500 pounds, but the biggest one ever measured topped out at over 2200 pounds, and because I love you, MD, I'm going to find you the biggest one I can.

There are lots of other really cool pictures in this book as well, like how big a giant squid is, or how big the Hindenburg really was. Ever wonder just how big the asteroid that took out the dinosaurs was?

That's New York under that rock. It was about six miles across and hit the Earth at about 45,000 miles per hour. It punched straight through the Earth's crust into the magma below. You can see why the party ended for T.Rex.

Just how big were glaciers during the ice age? This is what Chicago would look like with an ice cube 2 miles thick creeping up on it. Luckily we don't have to worry about this again for few thousand years.

I hope you're having a good time, Mama Dawg, and I really hope you enjoy the present because the paper work was unbelievable.

PS. You should probably bring home a large quantity of seal meat or possibly a small whale. Forgetting to feed him would be a mistake.

Another Day in the Dawg House

2009-06-02T07:00:00.004-05:00

I can’t believe Mamma Dawg is at Disney World! I can’t believe she left the keys to her house where I could find them! One of these days she is gonna learn…

Where the hell did I put my beer…? Hey, you! Yes, you, with the nipple tassels! Can you go and grab me another beer? Thanks lovely!

I was thinking about back in the day, before the interwebernet (yes, there was such a time), and what avenues were available to you to meet people from different parts of the land.

For me, it was being a pen-pal. I have had a pen-pal for 18 years now. We first started writing to each other in 4th grade and continued until the availability of the internet, and then e-mailing each other. Then came the invention of cell phones, with no long distance charges, so we finally got to speak to each other more than twice a year. (Used to just be on birthdays) Then we got a little older and had money and were able to fly to see each other. All in all, we have met each other three times and now use text messaging and Facebook to keep us connected!

Here is a picture of myself and long time pen-pal June:

Hotties!

I still have all of the letters that she sent me and she also has all of mine. I am one day hoping to scan all of mine in and she scan hers and make a book so we can keep the memories! No doubt the letters are priceless!

All of that was to kinda mirror what Momma D said in her earlier post about friends.

Meet as many people as you possibly can, keep the ones that make YOU a better person, enjoy yourself as much as possible and smile as often as you can! It totally works!

Who Would You Do?: The Outtakes

2009-06-01T06:00:00.001-05:00

This guest post was brought to you by one of my favorite Middle Aged Women EVER! MAW over at Unmitigated. Please hold your applesauce til the end of the post, thankyouverymuch.

We are all familiar with Mama Dawg's Monday morning tradition of proposing a variety of sex partners, and forcing us all to choose amongst them for her amusement. I happen to know that there are several lists which never made publication. While she is helplessly enthralled to The Mouse, along with LOHL, I thought I'd share this behind-the-scenes look at just what she has withheld.

First, there's this one...

Even the atheists moan, "Oh, God!" during really great sex. Which of the following holy figures brings you closest to visions of a Supreme Being? Gandhi, Mother Teresa of Kolkata, St. Francis of Assisi, or Martin Luther, founder of modern Protestantism? Remember, you can only pick one!

What about this politically incorrect one....

John F. Kennedy and Bill Clinton made sex in the White House, well, sexy! They don't call them "heads" of state for nothing, you know. Which former president would you like to haunt the Lincoln Bedroom with? Martin Van Buren (sweet sideburns o' love!), John Tyler (he can Tippy my canoe!), Harry S Truman (what did he say stops here??), or Richard M. (18-And-a-Half-Minutes-of-Love) Nixon? Remember, choosing more than one can get you a congressional subpoena!

And, finally....

Sweet, Golden Moments of Love, brought to you by the Golden Girl of your choice. Who will it be? Seductress Rue McClanahan, Dominatrix Bea Arthur, Wide-Eyed, Innocent Betty White, or Snarky, Sexy Estelle Getty ? Picture your date on one of those Miami-area topless beaches. Once you've finished gouging your own eyes out with a spork, I'm sure the lovin' will be hot!

We're Off To See The.....

2009-05-31T06:00:00.000-05:00

.....Mouse.

By the time you read this, we should be approx. 3 hours into our driving trip. If you notice the time this was pre-posted then you'll know that we got on the road at 3 a.m.

Yeah, that's what I said, too.

But I'm not taking the first leg. Mom is. God Bless Mom!

Enjoy the entertaining group of guest bloggers I have lined up for the next few days. With the exception of Saturday and Sunday, you'll have a guest poster for 7 whole days.

You lucky ducks.

Anyhoo, have lots of fun my bloggie peeps.

If y'all could all do me a HUGE favor and not post on your own blogs for the next 10 days, that would be fabulous. I don't want to have to try to play catch up when I get back. Thanks, you guys are the best! As your reward for doing so, I promise to post lots and lots and lots and lots of vacation pictures with intense descriptions of every sight, smell and sound we experience. If you don't, then your punishment will be just a couple of posts and a handful of pics. Your choice. Choose wisely.

Later taters,

Mama Dawg, LOML and Mom

Role Model

2009-05-30T06:00:00.001-05:00

This is who you should consider a proper role model.

-Top 10 in her class.

-Member of the National Merit Society

-Attending Loyola University in the fall

-Incredible singer and actress

-Accomplished flutist (yes, I googled that before I typed it. Who knew there is a masculine and feminine name for a flute player)

-Polite

-Beautiful (not only on the outside, y'all)

-Generous

-Kind

-Best kid ever (next to mine, natch).

I am proud to call her a friend and family member (by choice, not blood).

Congrats Vicki on your graduation. I am so glad to have you in my life and LOML's. She adores you and looks up to you and you know what?

I'm fine with that.

Love ya!

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Loves Strawberries?

2009-05-29T06:00:00.000-05:00

Why, I-55 does, of course.

Mom thought she was hallucinating when she saw giant strawberries traveling up I-55 Monday afternoon.

Yeah, I'm being lazy with my posts. All photos, all week. I have surprises lined up all next week while I'm visiting the Mouse's house.

Later,

Mama Dawg

WTF?

2009-05-28T06:00:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that's on some guys ass.

Who has this much TIME on their hands?

Later,

Mama Dawg

'Tis the Season

2009-05-27T06:56:00.004-05:00

Wonder what LOML is up to now that school's out for the summer?

No clue.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Mama Needs Some Cash

2009-05-20T08:30:00.020-05:00

As most of you know, we're getting ready to go visit the Mouse next weekend.

Even though I got a great deal on my package (hee, hee, I said package), you still need some spending cash...you know, for food and whatnot.

I've saved up some but could always use a little more.

My creative juices got to flowing recently (funny how that worked out when I needed some spare cash) and I made some new earrings and lanyards for my etsy shop.

I have this one pair of earrings that I bought way back in my early 20's. I paid about $10 for them. I adore them and wear them often.

I took a good hard look at them one day and realized that I could easily make them. And sell them for a lot less.

Below are the earrings that were spawned out of that creative thought.

If you see a pair you like, please, by all means, head on over the right side of my blog and click on my etsy shop. I've got tons more than what I've shown on here. These are just my personal favs.

Now that it's the end of the school year, some of you may be wondering what to get that special teacher in your kids life as a thank you for edumacatin' your kid.

My lanyards are the PERFECT gift for any teacher. They keep their pockets free of i.d. badges and keys.

If you don't have a teacher in your life (or, really, your kids life), you can always purchase one of these bad boys for any lady in your life that has an office job where badges or keys are an everyday item that they use. Not only are they handy, but they're pretty, too!

Again, this is just a small sampling of what I've made recently. Head on over to my shop to see more!

This is one of my more INEXPENSIVE lanyards that I've made. Since the economy has taken a dump on many of our finances, I made a few lanyards that are mostly made up of acrylic (as opposed to glass, which many of mine are made from) beads. I sell them for about half the price of the regular ones.

LOML got in a creative mood as well and made several new pairs of earrings as well as 2 bracelets.

If you have a little girl in your life, you will want to check out her latest creations. She also takes special orders. Just drop her an e-mail or a convo and she'll get cracking on it. Just ask Sassy Stephanie. She'll tell you!

LOML's etsy is over the right, as well. Just click and peruse!

Thanks everyone for indulging me in a bit of self-promotion. Some of my best customers have come from my loyal blog readers.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-05-18T09:26:00.002-05:00

It's Monday...again.

Sigh......I totally live for the weekends.

LOML got 2 awards at Friday's ceremony! Yay! She got one for being on Principal's honor roll all year long and one for having the highest AR (accelerated reading) points. However, she not only had the highest points for the entire third grade, she had the highest points for the ENTIRE SCHOOL!!!!! The average is like 60 points or so and she had 152!!!!! That's my girl!

Anywho, onto what you really came here for. "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

You're at a sex party playing a perfectly innocent game of Strip Twister with a group of hot female celebrities. Everyone's close to falling into a naked heap of bodies on the mat when you spin the wheel and land on "left butt cheek red". As you make your move, you slip and fall on a very famous face. Does it belong to Julia Roberts, Gwen Stefani, Ashley Judd or Reese Witherspoon?

(the book originally had Janet Reno as the 4th choice. WTF? So, for the safety of your eyes, I chose Reese instead. You're welcome.)

As usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

Did you have a good weekend?

Later,

Mama Dawg

Ready to Random?

2009-05-13T14:43:00.003-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I know. Tuesday is the dedicated Random day around here in bloggie land, but you know what? Tuesday just doesn't feel like a very random day to me. I'm never in a random mood then, ya know?

Plus, doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of being random? Kind of like planning to be spontaneous.

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Sigh........will May 31st EVER get here?

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Captain Dumbass promised me a polar bear but I've yet to see it. It's probably hung up in customs or it's being quarantined for potential swine flu or it was arrested for smuggling crack up its...well, crack.

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I've mastered the art of invisibility.

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I've mastered the art of feigned anger while trying to hide my lack of credibility.

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I've also mastered the art of random mysterious postings within a blog post.

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I finally conquered the automatic flushing toilet that gives me performance anxiety whenever I'm forced to use that potty instead of the old fashioned toilet that you flush using your foot so you don't have to touch it.

I put toilet paper over the sensor.

That'll teach it to splash my ass again.

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I still have performance anxiety though. Can't shake the feeling that it's gonna find a way to peer around the toilet paper and get me in a sneak attack.

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LOML and I have been playing a lot of rummy these days. My mom taught her how to play and like everyone in our family, she's already a pro.

Seriously, I've only won ONCE in like 12 games against her.

And I'm that mean parent that never let her win or gave her a break when playing games. It's all about teaching how to lose gracefully.

Someone forgot to teach me how, though!

No, seriously, she's a card shark. Or sharp. I can never remember which one it is. Do you know?

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While we're playing rummy, we listen to music. LOML got a Monkees c.d. from the Easter Bunny and she's now hooked to Davey, Mickey et al.....

I found a song on there that I had never heard before and am in LOVE. We play it on repeat. All the time.

I tried to find a youtube video with it, but I couldn't.

It's called Heart and Soul and it's one that they did when they did that reunion tour back in the 80's.

It's addictive.

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I find the way people from India speak to be so lyrical. I used to *snort* and *giggle* when I heard them speak, but after watching "Slumdog Millionaire" and listening to interviews with them on NPR (shut up), I'm now in love with the way they speak.

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LOML is getting some award on Friday. She doesn't know how many. Last year, they told us she was getting an award and she walked away with 5 of them!

I'm letting her assume that I can't make it due to work, but I talked to my boss and she's letting me come in real early on Friday to do my important work then I'll be off at 11. I'll be able to make it to the award ceremony. It's gonna be a surprise.

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I'm listening to "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera as I type this.

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I'm so disappointed that Helen won on The Biggest Loser last night. I thought Tara deserved it but I really wanted Mike to win it. I want to write him a letter asking him not to date or fall in love or get married for the next 10 years. He'll be 29 then and LOML will be 19. I'll overlook the 10 year age difference because he's such a GOOD GUY! They're so hard to come by, I want to reserve him for LOML.

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It smells like hot peppers in here.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-05-11T08:35:00.003-05:00

I had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday and I just want to thank my daughter for the beautiful gifts and cards I received. I'll share what I received with all of you tomorrow.

Right now? It's time for "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest) and I'm in a Western mood today.

"You're on the set of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Paul Newman and Robert Redford are both giving you smoldering x-rated stares but you can only have one of them. Who would you do?"

And, as usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

For you mama's out there, how was your special day?

Later,

Mama Dawg

The Grandest of All Ships...

2009-05-08T07:55:00.003-05:00

...is Friendship.

I've got this on my mind a lot these days.

Mostly due to renewed friendships via Facebook.

But I'm not going to talk about those today.

Today I'm talking about my bloggie friendships.

Who knew when I started this whole thing that I would become friends with strangers? Strangers who I've never met face to face. Strangers that I would share parts of my life with.

And to go even further, I actually consider them FRIENDS.

Not people I merely talk to through the miracle of modern science but honest to goodness real friends.

I read a lot of blogs (not lately but I'll get back into the swing shortly) and chit-chat with many bloggers, but there's only a handful out there that I'd consider a friend. Someone with whom I've either talked to on the phone or shared a deep dark secret (or not) with via a series of e-mails.

I've even been on the receiving end of gifts AND I've sent gifts or a card.

I mean, that's trust right there. To give out your address.

I've even gotten drunk phone calls and drunk texts. But of course, that's from one person and one person only! Hi, Jess! Love ya!

So, today, I'm going to give a big old shout out and THANK YOU to several bloggers who have touched my life in someway outside of this bloggie world.

To Jess: Thank you for the many phone calls both drunk AND sober. You never fail to put me in a good mood either from a drunken text message at 11 at night or an instant message when I'm having a shitty day at work. I can not WAIT to meet you in August. You are someone that if I had met you in real life first, I would have instantly been friends with. You are my kind of people.

To Kat: I have to have you right behind Jess because I kind of think of all of us as the Three Stooges, except without all the eye poking and face slapping. Somehow, in 140 characters on Twitter, you managed to ease some of my fears I have about a friend going to Afghanistan in August. Just knowing that you're there for me to use as a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on brings me comfort. I do hope that when you do come back to the States, we are able to meet up in Savannah and get totally hammered with Jess and Co.

To Sassy: You rock for making my little girls day by doing a special order for earrings for your daughters. She was so proud of herself for doing such a good job. You will always hold a special place in my heart for making her feel so big. Damn, Sassy just reminded me that we're meeting up in October! Can't wait for that one, too! I love all the bloggers that are coming to New Orleans this year!

To Pseudo: I don't know what it is about you that touches my heart so, but you do. I consider you to be a very special friend and I can't even tell you why. There are just some people out there that touch you and you can't explain it. You're one of those. Of course, anytime someone does anything for my daughter (see Sassy's above), they will always, always, always have a spot carved out for them in my heart. That completely AWESOME birthday present you sent her not only made her day, but made mine as well. The Hawaii themed items inside made for a very special present indeed. The card you included was fantastic and even though she's only 9, I think she understood the meaning in the words and understood the wonder that is the Internet for bringing you into her life. Anytime I talk about my blog at home, she always asks about Aunt Pseudo. She is thrilled that she has a BFF in Hawaii.

To Rhea: I can't even begin to thank you for all that you've done for me and LOML with our etsy businesses. Rhea was my first customer when I started this whole etsy thing. She's bought a few more items from me since then and not surprisingly, was also LOML's first customer. It's not so much the money that you spent that makes you special. It's that you believed in my product enough to actually make the purchase. That purchase gave me the confidence I needed to persevere.

To Captain Dumbass: You know, I can't really thank you for what you've done for me. Well, I can say thank you, but of course, I can't tell the whole Internets exactly why. All they need to know is that you are an incredible secret keeper and for that, you will always have my gratitude. Plus, you're sending me a polar bear. Who needs anything more? Have you gotten your package (hee, hee, I said package) yet? I hope they didn't explode. If you want more, holler and I'll go get some.

To Irish Gumbo: Thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for trusting me with your stories. Thank you for being there. I mean for really being there.

There are so many others out there that have touched my life in some way or another. Even if in a small way. There are way too many to lists in one post. Perhaps I shall save another list for another day. To each of you, though, I give thanks right now.

This is the first post in a series of thankful posts I plan to do every weekend. So, if you weren't mentioned above, don't fret. You'll get your day in the Dawg house sun soon enough.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Later,

Mama Dawg

It's Baaaaaaack!

2009-05-07T07:35:00.003-05:00

That's right ladies and germs.

He Blogs/She Blogs is back and located at their own private cozy cottage.

If you've been missing the latest male v. female points of view on anything from high heels to long hair v. short hair to how men REALLY feel about shopping, you can now get your crack at the low, low price of FREE!

So, head on over and check 'em out. They're looking for a good topic to discuss on their first ever post on the new site.

Click it. You know you wanna.

Later,

Mama Dawg

Who Would You Do?

2009-05-04T07:44:00.003-05:00

Four weeks left til my Magical vacation at the Happiest Place on Earth.

I really miss working my 4 day work weeks. Hopefully they'll hire someone soon so I can flex again.

Here's your Monday morning "Who Would You Do?" (book by Susan Segrest).

He's filthy rich, single and looks great in leather. What's not to love? The only problem with pursuing Batman is that you've got to decide which one you want the most, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney or Christan Bale?

Since everyone needs a superhero every once in a while, I chose a Batman theme this week. Batman (with Wolverine right behind) is my most favorite wounded soul super hero. I love the mythology behind both characters.

Per the usual:

*Editor's Note---You HAVE to pick one of the choices. Even if you're a guy and the only choices are guys...same for girls...believe me, there are lots where it's only girls to choose from.

And how was your weekend my lovelies?

Later,

Mama Dawg